


Orenda

by CJ_Ackerman17



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Titans (Shingeki no Kyojin), Angry Eren Yeager, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Captain Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Injured Eren Yeager, Injured Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Kidnapping, Levi Ackerman & Mikasa Ackerman Are Siblings, Levi is a badass, M/M, Marleyan Warrior Eren Yeager, Sarcastic Levi Ackerman, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soldier Eren Yeager, Soldier Levi Ackerman, ackerbond, all the characters are ooc, eren and levi are two years apart, eren is a badass, levi is a softie on the inside, levi wants to kill zeke, marley vs. paradis war, they literally make such a good team, they need each other to survive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-26 16:53:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30109065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJ_Ackerman17/pseuds/CJ_Ackerman17
Summary: Orenda (n.) - a mystical force present in all people that empowers them to affect the world, or change their own fate or destiny.War was unleashed and there’s nothing he could do about it, nothing. Not until… he found out he was the villain in his own story. And the one to teach him was someone with the bloodline he was taught his entire life to hate, the man who killed his father, the man that he came to execute : Levi Ackerman.Marley vs. Paradis but this time there are no titans, only a twisted truth that will be unraveled by two unlikely allies that nobody will expect. And they will use that as their deadly advantage.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 59
Kudos: 67





	1. prologue : where it all started

**Author's Note:**

> well hey! it's cj and ive returned with another story in the works that is way different than hiraeth. it's just as dark and gory though, maybe more. and if you're a whore for angst then you'll like this one too, i hope. have i ever written a war fic before? nope. am i gonna attempt? yup.
> 
> yes, you read the tags right. ignore everything cannon besides the layout of marley and paradis. eren and the rest of the yeager family are marleyan soldiers. its for the plot okay lol. the ackermans and eldians live on paradis island. only marleyans live on marley, it's not shared with eldians like canon.

Orenda (n.) - a mystical force present in all people that empowers them to affect the world, or change their own fate or destiny.

  
  


**11 years ago in Marley.**

  
  


“Why are we walking so fast, dad?” Thirteen year old Eren questioned, trying his best to keep up with his father. “What happened? Mom told me to come get you-”

“Shut up, Eren.” Grisha whispered, “quiet down, someone was watching us.”

It was in the middle of the night and Eren caught his father coming above ground from one of the underground cellars they had for Eldian prisoners. Carla had finished cooking dinner and wanted Grisha to come home for whatever unknown reason. She seemed urgent and Eren asked her why, but it’s not like anyone told Eren anything. He was too young, apparently. 

But right now he was walking back to their city right next to his dad, who looked paranoid as ever. They were in the middle of the woods since that was the easiest way to sneak back to the nearest neighborhood. 

Why the hell was his dad so far out from here, anyway?

And.. how did he know someone was watching him?

Eren darted his eyes around their surroundings, he didn’t see anyone or hear anyone around them. He looked back at his dad, who’s expression hadn’t changed, but his jaw tensed the way it did when he was under a lot of stress. 

Something within his father changed and he stopped walking, and it made Eren bump into his chest. “Dad?”

“Run, Eren.” Grisha looked down at him, “he’s after me. I won’t let you be killed on my behalf.”

“But dad-”

“Now, Eren!” His father grabbed the collar of his shirt and shoved him away, causing Eren to stumble. “He’s getting closer, run. Now. Get to your mother. Go!”

His father has yelled at him too many times and each time Eren got shivers up his spine from fear of disappointing the man. He stared at his dad in the eyes for a moment, searching for the lie but there was none. 

There was a rustle behind them and Eren took that as his cue to run. He ran for a bit but he heard voices behind him and it made him stop, he turned around and hid behind one of the trees by the bushes to watch the scene in front of him. 

He heard the sound of gas being released from up above and his eyes widened when he saw a metal rod launch to the ground, his eyes trailed up the metal rod and saw someone was connected to it. They came down to the ground, landing perfectly on their feet. Eren's eyes widened and he gasped, what the hell?

The man had landed right behind his father. He was small, not even up to Grisha’s shoulder. He had on the warrior uniform that a… Eldian had? An Eldian made it to their island? Since when did they have the technology to build a boat and ride the sea?

Brown jacket and straps, white pants and shirt, and a green cape with the wings of freedom labeled on the back in white and blue. On each of his sides was the equipment his people used that they came up with- ODM gear or whatever, Eren’s only heard the name once. He’s never actually seen it before. The man had his hood up so Eren couldn’t see his face, but even then without looking at him, his father knew who it was.

“You found me awfully fast.”

“You’re sloppier than I thought you would be.”

His voice was deep but he sounded young.

Was he Eren’s age?

Grisha turned around then, Eren watched him look over the man in the cape. “How did you get here?”

The blades the man was holding were shining in the moonlight and it made Eren gulp nervously. This man had weapons, swords, but his dad had a gun on him. If they were to fight… his dad should win, right? He was taller and more muscular, his dad was a soldier. 

“That doesn’t concern you, but what does concern you…” the man took a step closer to Grisha, making Eren tense. _What was going on?_ “Is where in the hell you're keeping Isabel and Furlan.”

“You came all this way for them?” 

“You’re an idiot to think I wouldn’t. Now, tell me..” the man held his swords.. Backwards? And aimed one at his fathers throat, “where the hell are they? You’re the one who took them. I saw you.”

Grisha braced himself on the back of the man's sword, “No idea.”

“I’ll kill you if I have too,” the man snapped, “I don’t want too but I will. All I want is to bring them home. You can choose now. Die fast or die slow.”

Wait...die?

This man wanted to kill his father? For what? Who in the hell were Isabel and Furlan? What was his dad hiding? Did his mom know about this? Did anyone? Why would his dad take people?

“You would have to be a fool to think I would tell you,” Grisha slid his hand down to his back, but the other man was swift. He surged forward and pushed Grisha’s body into the tree, back against it and using one of his swords to pin him there by the neck. 

Eren clutched onto the bush in front of him. The man's hood came off to reveal dark black hair in the shape of an undercut that was shining in the moonlight, a pale face with a sharp jawline, small nose and silver eyes that, if looks could kill, Grisha would be dead on arrival. 

Whoever it was, this guy was fast. He’s obviously a soldier, a dangerous one at that. Eren wonders if the commander knew about this guy.

“I’ve about had it with you shitheads fucking with my family and my people,” the shorter man said, “you think that just because you know where they are that I won’t kill you? You either tell me now or I kill every Marleyan in my path until I find out where they are.”

“Do what you must.”

_Dad, what the fuck?_

It looks like the smaller man was too distracted by his own anger that he didn’t notice Grisha’s one hand slide down to his belt and wrap around the gun he had on his belt. The smaller man was speaking quietly now, Eren couldn’t hear him anymore. All he did was hope and pray that his dad knew what he was doing. 

Everything happened so fast that Eren couldn’t process it. The moment the raven had noticed the gun was when Grisha shot at him and missed because of the awkward angle. It caught the man off guard though and he stumbled back in shock, eyes rounded and mouth agape until he heard the gun once more. He had flinched back with a startle but quickly brought himself back to his senses. 

That dangerous look in his eye came back and he deflected another bullet Grisha shot with his blades and Eren’s eyes widened at the incredible speed this man had. His father had nothing against who this was. His speed was insignificant, so was his strength, and that was made evident as Grisha kept shooting and the smaller man kept deflecting.

Eventually the smaller man got the best of Grisha and swiftly plated his hands on the ground and swiveled his body to trip his father with his short but muscular legs, making Grisha stumble to the ground and drop his gun. It made Eren cringe how hard he hit the ground. 

He wanted to help but… 

_Run._

_Why wasn’t he running?_

He was just a measly weak teenager. He wouldn’t stand a chance against this guy. 

He was a coward. 

It was then the smaller man aimed the edge of his sword at Grisha’s neck and leaned down, foot on his chest pressing hard judging from the grunt Grisha let out.

_Tell him whatever he wants, dad. Please._

To his horror, the smaller man raised his sword in retaliation when Grisha grabbed his gun and shot. It grazed the enemy's shoulder and he let out a hiss before slamming the end of his sharp and silver sword into his fathers neck ruthlessly with a shout. 

The next thing Eren knew, the man launched his gear into the trees and used his gear to fly into the woods in the direction he came from in a hurry.

  
  
  


Eren had a front row seat in watching the first death he’s ever seen that night. 

His own father. 

Killed by the enemy. 

Now all he wanted was revenge. 


	2. execution gone wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you ever been interrogated before?” 
> 
> “No.” 
> 
> “You’re in for a wild ride, brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when its brought up, imagine the underground jail cell as the same one eren was put in during season one before he went to trial, except this one isn’t in a building. It’s a jail cell underground with only a small space for people to stand outside of the cell.

There is nothing good about war. No matter what way you look at it. 

Most of the time it’s fighting for a cause that you believe in, that your enemy sees opposite. There are two sides to the story but as years go on things get mixed up like a game of telephone. 

If you survive, you’re plagued by the pain in your heart as you relive horrid memories of what you witnessed in the battle field. 

If you die, then you die. Only your family will remember your name, the enemy thinks you’re another useless casualty. 

Maybe dying is the only way out of something as devastating as a war, it’s a relief. To just roll over, get bit by a bullet, stabbed and bleed out, there are many ways to something so many people in this time desire. 

Death should be something people are willing to wait for, not to ride into battle for. Everyone wants to die a hero, but what if you died a villain and never knew about it? What if you were on the wrong team and thought you were fighting for the right team?

The war between Paradis and Marley had been going on for over twenty years, both sides taking subtle hits at each other. Both of them believe in their rights and their cause, but only one side is telling the truth. 

So… are they all in the dark?

You’d never be able to right your wrongs, not even in the after life.

Eren wishes he could right all the things he’s done wrong. He wishes he could turn back time and be there when his father needed him, when his friends needed him. He wishes he could reverse the time and script or whatever the hell else and stop what was going to happen. 

War was unleashed and there’s nothing he could do about it, nothing.

Not until… he found out he was the villain in his own story. And the one to teach him was someone with the bloodline he was taught his entire life to hate, Levi Ackerman. The man Eren had been hunting down for years. 

The man that killed his father. 

And who soon became the most important person in his life.

  
  
  
  


_

  
  
  
  


**11 years later. Marley headquarters.**

  
  
  


“I already told you no, Eren. Why won’t you listen to me?”

“Because I’m twenty four years old and I don’t need you on my ass all the time! I can make my own decisions whether you like them or not!”

Carla and Eren were going head to head in their living room in their mansion. They were in the middle of planning another raid on Paradis to eliminate the rest of the Ackerman clan when Carla pulled him out of the room and began to lecture him. 

“You can’t go out and fight with your brother!” Carla yelled, “is death that important to you? Do you want to die?”

“No mom, God, I don’t. But what if I can find the man who killed dad, huh?” Eren snapped, “he’s out there somewhere, mom. He’s an Eldian, someone as ruthless as him has to be alive and I want to find him!”

She drew her brows together, her shoulders tensing at the mention of her widowed husband. “I do not care-” she put a finger to his chest, “about the man who killed Grisha.” Her fiery brown eyes staring up at him, requesting a challenge from her own son. Carla was a vicious woman when she needed to be. It’s why she earned her current position. It’s how the Yeager family climbed to the top of the ranks.

Eren looked down at her finger to his chest then back at her. “Well I do. You got to fight in the war. You got your revenge, now let me have mine.” He gently took her hand off and turned around. “I was a coward back then, I’m not now.”

Before he walked out the door he heard his mother speak again. 

“Revenge didn’t bring me any gratitude, it wasn’t fulfilling. It’s not worth it.”

He looked back at her with a determined glare. “Maybe to you it’s not, but to me, it’s everything.”

Eren shut the door behind him and went back to headquarters. He walked past other soldiers and opened the door to the coordinating room, stepping inside and making himself known. “I’m back, sorry for the interruption.”

Commander Theo Magath was standing around their large round table that had a map of Paradis island on it. He looked up when Eren made his entrance and he hummed softly, “little bit of a family feud, hm?”

“My apologies,” Eren walked up to the table and took his place next to Zeke once more. “Won’t happen again. What did I miss?”

“The attack we’re planning on Paradis,” Zeke began, “The walls they’ve built around their city have grown taller than the last time we were there. They’re stronger too. We almost have all the Ackermans extinct except a couple dozen.”

Eren nodded, “so what do we do?”

“In a way, what we’ve always done.” Magath spoke up, “the only way we can get the upper hand on them would be if we surprised them. But we have to go in with a plan, and that is what Zeke was bringing up before you came back.”

Zeke pointed to the map, “coming from Annie, she said that the Ackerman’s haven’t suspected a thing while she’s been behind the walls. She came back and told us that she couldn’t find a way out either. She’s spent a lot of time in the military and has confirmed there are a couple Ackerman’s left. We have to be careful of those few, it could cost us a lot of lives.”

Annie and Reiner had been their selected warriors to act as Eldians and get behind the walls, gather information, and come back to Marley and relay it all. Those two were the top of their class. 

Biting his lip, Eren looked down at the map.

“Their warrior unit, or their so-called ‘scouting legion’ is where the Ackermans are located, apparently. Kenny is in charge of that along with a man named Erwin Smith. Kenny’s nephew is also in that unit, captain Levi.”

“Captain Levi? Isn’t he the one who took out like, half of our army with the help of that girl in the glasses?” Eren questioned, “and didn’t he infiltrate our sources with his own team to bring the information back to Paradis?”

Zeke nodded his head, “allegedly, yes. I was there the day he brought out those weapons, he’s young, fast, and talented. Kenny is that but only ten-fold. If you see Levi or Kenny we need to avoid them and kill the Eldians first to demolish their numbers.”

Eren looked between them and then over to Reiner and Annie, who hadn't spoken a word. “Are you sure about all of this?”

“I couldn’t get much information on the weapons they used without them suspecting me.” Annie crossed her arms over her chest, “A girl with black hair and a stupid scarf would have stopped me. Couldn’t get brought into that.”

“They have a large number of soldiers,” Reiner brought up, “it’s about the same size as our army, I say that we attack them during the night time. That’s when they’re the most vulnerable.”

Magath hummed, a sign he was thinking about it. “What is the status of our own bombs and cannons? Have the scientists finished them yet?”

Zeke nodded, “they did a test run and they work. The only weapons Paradis has are guns and swords, they’re no match for these weapons unless they somehow found the resources to create something new. The smart move would be to drag out the legion outside the walls, eliminate them, send our best warrior unit after Levi and Kenny once we get them separated, and send another team to go in and kill the...what are they called?”

“The garrison warrior unit and the military police,” Annie answered, “if you get past them, your victory is guaranteed.”

“Chief Zeke Yeager, I expect nothing but victory once you return.” Magath said and he looked at Eren, “ready for your first mission to Paradis?”

And Eren nodded eagerly, he wanted revenge on the man in the green cape. 

Annihilate him, and then the rest. 

“Yes sir.”

  
  
  
  
  


**_**

  
  


**One week later on Paradis island after the raid on Paradis.**

  
  
  
  


Cold. 

It was cold. 

Not only was their air, but what was around his wrists and ankles were cold as well. And- was it pitch black where he was at or was something over his eyes? He doesn’t know, he can’t feel anything, not even his face. 

One thing he could feel was the solid ground beneath him. It felt like concrete but with how freezing it was, it may be dirt that’s hardened onto the ground and turned solid. He couldn’t feel any grass though.

And the smell. It didn’t smell all that great down here. It smelled like dirty air and the battlefield.

Battlefield. 

Isn’t he supposed to be there right now?

Why was he here?

Why was it so quiet?

He moved his arms to hear the dangling sound of chains and he frowned, yanking at them with all of his strength and grunting when he fell back onto his rear in defeat. Fear passed through him next. The panic was gone and fear had replaced it. 

Was he dead? Was he in hell?

_ No, not yet. _

The last thing he remembers is almost being killed outside the walls of Paradis island. They had gotten so far, they were so ready to take down their rival with new weapons they’ve been developing. It was an attack at night when they wouldn’t expect it. It was perfect.

Well, it was almost perfect. Nothing seems to ever go Eren’s way. 

During the raid on Paradis island he rode with his brother and the rest of the Marleyan soldiers in their unit, it was his first raid he’s ever been on, that his mother has allowed with Zeke’s persuasion. After his father was murdered Carla didn't want Eren going into the military, it was already too late for Zeke. 

It was exhilarating. It was dangerous. It was a high he wanted to feel all over again. 

His head pounded as he tried to remember what had happened before he woke up to where he was currently at. He groaned and tiled his head back against the floor he now laid on. 

It was.. A man. A soldier. A marleyan soldier. He remembers seeing the band on his arm for a split second before he was hit with something and his memory fades to black. 

He tries to remember more, he truly does, but the pain in his head won’t allow him too. 

A couple meters across from him, he could tell from the volume, was a voice that finally rang out. “So they got you too, hm?”

It was deep, it sounded familiar.

“Yeah,” Eren sighed and messed with the chains, “where are we?”

“Well I’d like to enlighten you on our whereabouts, I’m sure it’s fucking beautiful judging by the smell, but I can’t see shit. I’m as lost as you.”

Whoever it was had a terrible sense of humor. Shouldn’t he be scared too? Shouldn’t he be panicking like Eren was? His heart beating faster than the speed of light? He grunted and sat back up, chains dangling in the process. His ass was cold from sitting on the frozen ground. “Are you chained up too?”

“Kinky bastards used something on me,” no wonder his voice sounded so.. Dull. “I’m strong enough to escape but they dont want me too.”

Eren frowned, “they used something on you?”

The mysterious man responded, “brat, did I stutter?”

“Don’t be shitty with me, it’s not like I locked us up in here.” He breathed out in one go. “What’s your problem anyway? Shouldn’t we be finding a way to, I don’t know, escape?”

A hitch of breath, grunt, and chains dangling. 

What was going on with that man? 

“Why would they drug you and not me?” Eren questioned curiously, “what’s different?”

“Kid, stop asking questions.” His voice was slurred now, “if.. If they come to question you.. Don't tell them shit until I wake up again.”

Panic rushed through Eren once more. God he wishes he could see. “No, don’t pass out on me.”  _ You’re the only person here besides me. Don’t leave me alone.  _ “Come on, we’re the only two in here. Talk to me. Keep yourself awake, let’s formulate an escape plan.”

But whoever the man was, whatever drug he was on seemed to work and Eren heard the sound of a body slumping over. Eren tried calling out a few more times but it was no use, he was out like a light. 

Drugs. Who needed to drug one soldier but not the others? Wait, was this guy even a soldier like Eren was? Was he Marleyan, Edlian? That would have been a good question to ask but it’s not like he knew he didn’t have much time before whatever drug he was on kicked in and knocked the guy out. 

God, where was his brother? His people? Were they still out there raiding Paradis island? Were they winning? Were they alive? He has no fucking clue. It was silent wherever the hell he was. The only thing he could hear was his own chains dangling and the soft breaths of whoever the hell was across from him. 

_ Shit,  _ he thinks as he tries to move his hands out of the clasps but it didn’t work.  _ Who the hell just has spare chains? These are too heavy for average horses.  _ He moved his legs and found the ones on his ankles were heavy as well.  _ Unless there was more than one person.  _

He slammed his head against the wall with a frustrated sigh. He certainly wasn’t anywhere safe. He was here for a reason whether it was good or bad. He was obviously being held prisoner with this stranger. If they were being held prisoner, does that mean he’s still in Paradis? Did someone of their race take two Marleyan soldiers and hide them below ground?

No, Eren saw the band on his arm. It couldn’t be. And what Marleyan soldier would do this? Wouldn’t they recognize who Eren was and release him?

There was no way he was in a safe place judging by the chains. Whoever has him and this man chained up had to have something against them.

Hopefully it wasn’t the same reason for the war. 

  
  
  
  


Racing thoughts crowded his mind for a long time. He didn’t know how long but it was long enough for him to lose feeling in his fingers. He had moved various positions to get more comfortable but nothing worked. He even tried to call out to the man again but he’s been asleep. Eren had no idea what was going on, the only thing he could think about was his family. 

At least Zeke wasn’t the one to get captured. He hopes none of his friends were somewhere like this either. Was he going to be left here alone to die with a stranger? Is this how he goes out? Some form of hypothermia? What kind of sick game was this? He’d rather die facing a stupid fucking bullet or a sword to his throat like his father.

Eren was about to pull at the restraints again when he heard a hatch open. He froze his movements and went as still as he possibly could. It sounded like three men judging by how many footsteps came down.. Stairs?  _ So we are underground,  _ he thought to himself. 

There was another noise. A door opening? No, it was too squeaky to be a regular door. A metal door? He heard a key jingle and something unlock, and something rusty swung open. “Oh, so you are awake. That makes this easier then.”

He’s never heard this voice before. Not once so it wasn’t anyone he knew. Now it had to be someone living on Paradis island. But wait- they were in Marley uniforms. Fuck, who were these people? He was prisoner in these god forsaken walls he always dreaded, or that’s where he thought he was. He has no clue. All he does know is that his head was pounding. “Who are you?”

“None of your concern,” the same man replied and Eren flinched back when cold hands touched his face. He went to snap at him but then the blindfold was cut off from where it was wrapped around his head, falling to the floor. He squinted his eyes to see his surroundings.

He was right, it was dirt he’s been sitting on this whole time. The chains were silver but mainly covered in rust. He was still in his soldiers uniform but his weapons were removed and taken somewhere else. Around him was dirt, dirt, and… more dirt?

Eren looked to his right and froze. He knew those bars. 

He was in an underground jail cell. He’s heard of these. 

Sometimes people were taken here as a private execution. He’s never been to an underground jail cell, but he’s heard the stories. Most prisoners never make it out even if they answered the right questions. He knows that Zeke had been to one before, but his brother was the one doing the interrogating. 

Zeke never told Eren about the end result but the brunette never saw those people again.

Eren looked at the three men. One was standing in front of him and the other two were on the other side of the cell right next too.. Oh, the guy! He was finally able to get a somewhat good look at him.The only light that came through was the candles lit on the walls. 

The man was slumped onto the floor laying on his side. Like Eren, his wrists and ankles were clamped together and chained to the cell bars behind him. His eyes were blind folded so Eren couldn’t really see his face, but he did see that he was laying flat on his side. He had dark black hair that was messed up and all over the place like a nasty bed head. He also didn’t look very tall. 

Then he squinted his eyes and finally noticed the uniform. It was one he was familiar with. It was the new warrior uniform of Paradis island, they had abandoned their last one and changed it. Before it was brown boots, white pants and a white shirt and a brown jacket, boots and straps to match. 

This was the new uniform. This one was of black boots, tight black pants and a tight long sleeve black shirt to match. Instead of the brown straps there were now silver straps wound around his arms and legs. A metal plate covered his chest and Eren could make out a small engraving on it but he couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. 

On the sides of the uniform looked like it could hold something but whatever it was had been dislodged from its owner just like Eren’s own weapons. Around the man's neck was a bright green cape with those familiar wings of freedom on the back of it.

The last time he’d seen this cape, besides recently on the battlefield, his father was killed. 

He was killed by someone wearing this kind of cape. 

This was an eldian, Eren was sure of it. 

“Where am I?” Eren questioned and eyes the soldier, “why am I here? I see your arm band, you’re a Marleyan just like me.”

“I’m in need of some information but..” the man sighed and walked over to the black haired male, kneeling down and grabbing a fist full of his hair. Eren cringed as the man appeared lifeless. “We gave him a strong dose, we were checking to see if he’s awake but oh well.” He dropped his face back on the ground with a hard thud and stood back up, beckoning his soldiers to follow him back up the stairs.

Eren pulled at the chains, “where are you going? What drugs did you use? Why not on me?” He asked frantically, “Let me out of here! I’m Eren Yeager, get me out of here!” 

The soldier chuckled, “we already know who you are kid. It doesn’t make a difference to us.”

The door slammed shut and he continued to pull at the chains until his wrists began to hurt.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck.  _ This wasn’t happening. He was not trapped in here with someone on the same side as the man who killed his father. It couldn’t be. 

He was not trapped on his first fucking mission. Not a chance. Was he really that unlucky?

He came here to annihilate them, not be held prisoner with one. He only came on this raid to hopefully find whoever killed his father. He couldn’t remember that much of what he looked like, he didn’t know his voice, but he knew it was someone with a green cape with the wings of freedom printed on the back. 

This was ridiculous. And where the hell was his brother and friends? Did they know he was missing? Did they think he died somehow? What if they already retreated back to the boats and to Marley?

No, it’s impossible to think they would stay here longer than needed. Zeke wasn’t one to stay around for long after the plan was executed. He did damage fast and left the enemy in the dust. He always has, it’s what he does best. 

Zeke is a ruthless man when it comes to war. Eren would hate to be on the enemy's side. 

He remained quiet for a long time in the dark cellar imagining what was going on above ground when there was a soft groan coming from across from him. Eren perked up at the sound of the man waking up. If he was an eldian there was a chance he could be an Ackerman. Eren would have to get on his good side if he wanted the man to break them out of here. 

“Are you awake?” Eren finally asked. 

“Fuck,” was his reply, “yeah.”

“We’re being held by at least three soldiers, they’re Marleyans. I saw the arm badge.”

“You saw? You don’t have a blindfold?”

Eren shook his head even though the man couldn’t see him. “They took it off, not sure why. It’s a small cloth though, they cut it with a knife.”

The man began to sit up, and Eren could see him a little better. The cape he wore was covering one of his shoulders, askew. His black bangs fell in front of his face, he had an undercut too. 

He looked familiar. “A knife, huh?” 

For a moment Eren was about to ask what he meant but stopped and stared at the man before him. He twisted his body so he faced the other way and laid on his back, his feet facing the cellar bars. Eren raised a brow, the hell was he doing? 

From what he could see, the man used his short height to his advantage and used the cellar bars to unhinge one of his leather boots.  _ What the hell?  _ Eren asked himself, but once the boot was halfway off the man's foot he used his other boot clad foot and kicked hard at his other foot, and something metal fell to the floor. 

There was a small glare coming from the item and Eren could make the faint outline of a knife.  _ How long has he had that in here?  _

“You’re telling me you’ve had that this whole time?” 

“Yeah, what’s it to you?” 

_ The audacity of this man.  _

The soldier grabbed it with his clasped hands and brought it to his face, cutting the cloth wound tightly around his face. When he finished the cloth fell to the floor and Eren could feel his heart stop beating. 

No. 

No. 

It couldn’t be. 

It was  _ him _ . 

Eren could never forget those eyes. Sharp as a knife. Silver as the moon that lit up the world at night. The sharp jawline, thin brows, it now made sense. His eyes were murderous. 

This was the man who snuck onto his island unnoticed all those years ago. This man was in the old uniform when he committed the murder of his father. That’s why Eren didn’t recognize him at first. But now that he saw his face.. 

_ This  _ was the man who killed Grisha Yeager. This was the man who killed his father. This man was the reason that Erens life became a living hell. Whoever this was, he was the man that Eren came to kill. 

Out of everyone he could be trapped with and depend on helping him escape, it was the man he’s been wanting revenge on. Zeke would get a kick out of this shit. He would tell him as soon as he escaped this place. 

The raven didn’t bother adjusting his eyes or squinting and Eren pursed his lips. Was this man not affected by the darkness? Eren could barely see through the faint light the candles provided. Eventually the man made eye contact with Eren and his facial expression didn’t change. “You’re a Marleyan soldier.” He said flatly. “Just my luck I’d get stuck with someone on the other side.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” Eren sneered. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Like I would ever tell you that.”  _ If he knew who I was he would recognize me. Would he finish the job and murder the rest of the Yeagers?  _

Wait. Did he know Grisha had another son? 

That night, he didn’t go after Eren. He had to have known that he was there, his dad said they were being followed, this man had to have seen him. And if he did.. Why didn’t he kill Eren too? 

It’s not like word spread around about him having another kid. He had an affair and that’s where Eren was born. Maybe this man had no idea who he was? And if he did recognize him, he didn’t show it. 

“I see,” the man stomped his one foot and shoved his boot back on. “Well mr. no name, looks like you’re smart enough to not answer that question. Maybe I’m stuck with someone I have a chance of getting out here with.” 

Eren drew his eyebrows together, this man wanted to work together with him? Work together with the son of the man he ruthlessly killed. He had to take a deep breath. He could kill him after he escaped. “We'll know each other’s names eventually. We’re here to be interrogated. It’ll come out sooner or later.” 

He got an amused glance in return, “can’t wait. Have you ever been interrogated before?” 

“No.” 

“You’re in for a wild ride, brat.” 

  
  
  
  
  


Eren observed that the man in the green cape wasn’t one for small talk but then again, this was the one person he never wanted to talk too. He imagined the first time he saw this man he would be at the other end of Eren's gun. 

However, he stopped to think about something. He stared at the man in front of him. He looked young. He looked Eren's age. Other than the worn look on his face, he looked young. He was short but the muscles he had told him that he wasn’t  _ that  _ young. 

Eren was thirteen when his father was murdered, he was now twenty four and in his prime to be a soldier. How old was this guy when he killed his father? They didn’t look that far apart in age.

“I can see the steam coming from your ears.” 

“Are you trying to make small talk?” Eren snapped, “because it’s not working. We’re enemies, not teammates.”

The man shrugged and locked eyes with him, and Eren did everything to make sure he didn’t look like he wanted to crawl back home. 

Those eyes were the same eyes his father saw before he died. 

“I could care less who you are,” he said, “I don’t care if you hate me over all of this bullshit.” 

“Bullshit?” 

“This stupid fucking war.” 

He frowned. “What is your name?” 

“It’s-“ 

The hatch from up top opened and two soldiers came down this time, shutting both of them up. The black haired male quickly moved his knife back onto his boot before they saw and he took a glance at Eren who nodded his head. These were the soldiers that took them. 

“You’re both awake now I see,” the taller one said as he wrapped his hands around two cellar bars. He looked over at the Eldian. “How did you get that blindfold off?” 

But the man remained silent. 

“Not saying anything?” The man questioned, “that will soon change. I need information, and you are the one who is going to give it to me.” 

The shorter soldier used the key and unlocked the cellar, then they both stepped inside, shutting the door behind them. The atmosphere was tense now that their captures were inside the cellar with them. They had weapons strapped to them while Eren and the raven had nothing to defend themselves with. 

Well, besides the knife that was now in the man’s leather boot once more. 

The shorter soldier walked up to the raven but the man did and said nothing, just sizing them up with those piercing silver eyes of his. He didn’t change his position, he didn’t freeze up, he just sized up his captures. That was all. 

Was he formulating a plan? 

What was he thinking about? 

Eren bit his bottom lip as he tried to read the mans features. If this guy was figuring out how to beat these soldiers and escape then Eren had to go with it. Eren was strong but not strong enough to take down these soldiers who had all the weapons. 

_ Fucking hell,  _ he thought to himself.  _ This is a load of shit.  _ Depending on the man who killed his father ruthlessly.  _ What has my life come too?  _

He was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of a grunt and he watched as the shorter soldier grabbed the raven's hair and pulled his head back to face the taller soldier that stood towering above him. “Are you sure you want to stay silent?” 

Eren thought the man would cave but he didn’t. What he did surprised him. The man spit in the taller soldier's face. He had to look away for a moment to hold in his laugh. He may as well find some joy in this shithole. 

“You’re as disrespectful as the rumors,” the taller soldier wiped the spit from his mouth. He nodded towards the shorter soldier and he knelt down, using full force as he slammed the mans face against the floor. Those cold silver eyes locked with the taller soldiers, murder written across his face. 

Eren would hate to be on the end of that. His father-

“I would hate to kill the strongest Ackerman left right behind Kenny.” 

Wait-  _ Ackerman?  _

_ My dad was killed by an Ackerman?  _

If Ackermans were as strong as he’s heard from war veterans, how in the hell was this man captured? 

_ “They used something on me. I’m strong enough to escape but they don’t want me too.”  _

Since when did Marley invent something like that? 

In response, all the soldier got was a grunt.

“Levi, all we need is information.” The soldier said. 

Levi Ackerman. 

The Ackerman clan was a bi-product of a science experiment on Marley to create stronger warriors to defeat a common enemy. Once that common enemy was defeated by the Ackerman clan, they turned on the Marleyans and killed half of the population before running to Paradis. 

That’s how the war started. 

That’s what Eren was told all throughout his life.

Marley was fighting back to avenge all the people they lost and steal the resources back that were taken from them. 

Erens heard of this man before.

He’s slaughtered the most Marleyans than anyone else he knew about. His kill streak was right below Kenny Ackerman. They called him Kenny the ripper, but Levi had no nickname. 

Now the man, Levi, spoke up. “Why?”

“Oh so he speaks.” The taller soldier chuckled, “information on Kenny. On how to get inside your commanders head.” 

“If you want information on the Ackermans then why am I here?” 

Silence, and then the soldier looked at Eren. “You’re a casualty. But convenient. If it comes too, we kill him.” He nodded to Levi, “and you take the blame for it once we keep you here. You’re no use to our military, nobody will care if you’re gone.” 

Erens jaw tensed and he stared at the man in the eyes, not saying anything. He’s heard these words before. “Why would I need to take the blame?” 

“We keep you on Paradis, the strongest Ackerman will be dead, Marley will get the upper hand and this war will be over.” 

“Zeke wouldn’t let this happen,” he shook his head. “You guys aren’t on Marleys side.” 

“On the next raid, when he finds you locked down here, we’ll be guaranteed a spot in the higher ranks.” The soldier explained and looked back down at Levi. “You, on the other hand, we need information out of you on those new weapons you Eldians made.” 

Levi huffed out a dark laugh, “you really think _ I’ll  _ spill? You’re talking about  _ me _ . I could kill you both with my bare hands. Those weapons you took from me? They’re useless without the strength us Ackermans possess. So have fun trying to get them to work, shitheads.” 

The shorter soldier pulled Levi up and slammed his back against the cellar bars, and all the man did was give them a teasing smile. Eren didn’t know how the man did it. How was he not freaked out? “You rotten shitty bastards,” he spit out the dirt that had gotten in his mouth. “You filthy-“ 

A punch with the force that made Eren cringe was dealt to Levi’s face. In a way, watching it was satisfying since Eren wanted to do much worse, but he at least thought the guy deserved a fighting chance. “What will hitting him do?” Eren questioned. 

The soldier looked at him. 

_ Yes. Focus on me.  _

He couldn’t let Levi get too injured, they had to make an escape together and an injured Ackerman would get him nowhere. He’ll use Levi for protection and then get revenge on his father. 

“He’ll heal up anyway, that’s useless. They heal faster than us.” 

Levi just gave the soldier who punched him a wicked smile, blood coating his lips and teeth. “Kill me.  _ Do _ it.” He growled, “everyone is replaceable, even me. If you kill me, they’ll find someone else and train them the way they did me. It’s fucking  _ useless _ . So is questioning that kid-“ he nodded towards Eren, “let that kid go. He didn’t do shit to be here.”

Levi.. wants him to be let go?

Does he really not know who he is?

Did he not see him at all that night?

“Why are you defending your enemy?” 

“Dumbass, there’s no fucking enemies here-“ 

It landed him another punch to the face and Eren wanted to break these goddamn chains. What did he mean by no enemies here? All of them were on different sides. What was Levi doing? Why was he talking more when he told Eren not too? He was trying to get the attention on him- or.. was Levi trying to keep the soldiers attention on him? 

Was this murderer trying to protect Eren, an enemy soldier out of all people? 

“You-“ he adjusted himself and peeked up at the soldiers through his disheveled black bangs. “Will be killed,” he pulled at the chains and chuckled when one of the soldiers flinched back. “You’re  _ scared _ of me,” he gave them another wicked smile, “you’re scared of what I can do, even when I’m binded by chains.” 

Eren watched as Levi’s eyes lit up in murderous delight as he leaned forward to stare into one of the soldiers faces, blood trickling down the side of his mouth and Eren felt his heart racing in fear. This- this man looked capable of killing anything in his path. He looked  _ insane _ . 

But there was something else hiding behind that look. The insane, threatening facade he was putting on for show… Eren knew what that was like, he was the same way when his father died and the wounds were flesh. What could send someone spiraling like that?

What could send someone like  _ Levi Ackerman _ , notorious killer and nephew of Kenny Ackerman, to spiral onto borderline insanity? 

“I’ll be the last thing you see before you die,” Levi spoke darkly, “I’ll make you bleed. I’ll hear the sounds of your bones breaking under my bare hands. You think having every Ackerman and Eldian as your enemies are dangerous?” He spit on the ground and looked back up, the wicked look not leaving his face. 

“Then you’ve never been one of my  _ personal  _ targets.” 

Yikes. 

It was a long and tense silence after that and the two soldiers stood up without saying a word. The taller man took a minute to stare at Levi, who leaned his head against the cellar bars and closed his eyes. For a moment Eren thought he would shoot Levi right there but he knew he wouldn’t. 

They needed him. 

After both of the soldiers left and shut the hatch behind them, Eren let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He looked over at Levi, who was collecting spit in his mouth and coughing it up onto the floor, trying to rid his mouth of the blood probably. 

“It’s fucking filthy in here.” 

“They really hate you, huh?”  _ Don’t blame them.  _

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Okay, so he wasn’t going to get  _ anywhere _ . 

Eren wouldn’t be in the best mood if he was in Levi’s position. 

Hold up- was he really feeling sympathy for this man? 

This man was a killer. 

But… Eren was too. 

In his own special way. 

_ He  _ was the one who watched his father get murdered by the man in front of him and didn’t do a goddamn thing. 

“Your name is Levi,” Eren said. “Captain Levi Ackerman?”

“No shit. You know mine, only fair if you tell me yours, brat.” 

Eren glared, “stop calling me that.” 

“Then tell me your name. I gotta address you as something while we’re having a grand ol’ time together.” 

“Eren Yeager.” 

Something seemed to connect Levi’s head and Eren stared at him curiously. His body tensed for a split second and that death glare he gave the guards was now placed upon him. Eren did everything he could to stay still but how could he when the man who killed his father was looking like he wanted to kill him too?

“... what is it..?” Eren asked quietly.

The glare hardened and that’s when Eren could feel his heart beating faster in fear. Did he do something? 

“Your brother Zeke,” Levi said through gritted teeth, “killed someone important to me before I was taken. And if you even think about coming after me, you’ll be fucking dead too. Do you understand me?” 

Eren swallowed. 

Levi didn't bring his father up even though he said his last name. Why?

“I will help you escape. I’ll get you out of this hell hole so you can go home and tell Zeke that he’s my next fucking target.” 

“Levi-“ 

“Do. You. Understand. Me?” He was strict and down to the point. Seeing this man angry was one thing, having it directed at you was another.

Eren wanted to ask who was killed. Who could his brother have killed to make him an Ackermans prime target? Was his brother stupid? What did he get himself into and drag Eren into it? 

“Understood.”

“Good. Now let’s figure out how to get the fuck out of here.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so, im testing the waters here with everything. you had no idea how long i reread this chapter and made edits and just tried to get used to these characters. in my current book im working on, hiraeth, i have levi being soft and sweet and eren being the protector and ugh, it's so different here.on this end i have eren who is like a confused and angry puppy and levi is borderline insane but severely independent. ugh, its crazy. 
> 
> also.. levi and zeke enemies here too? just what i wanted. ive always wanted to write a version of levi who is on the verge of losing his mind, and ive always wanted to write a version of eren where he is the one who finds out the truth and puts the pieces together. anger issues included lmao. 
> 
> how was chapter two? any feedback? its a little confusing, i know, bare with me. if you have questions go ahead and ask and ill reply to them! and thank for the feedback on chapter one :)
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter - cj


	3. allies with the enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If we’re so murderous, then why don’t you care?” 
> 
> “Because I don’t.” He glared, “at least, not anymore.” 
> 
> Lightning flashed and soon a crack of thunder shook the ground beneath them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for staying so far, im still getting used to writing these characters so thanks for bearing with me. here's chapter two. enjoy.
> 
> i also made a spotify playlist for this book as well, im doing it with all my books, ill make one for espoire (hope( soon. 
> 
> just type in "orenda (ao3-CJAckerman17)" on spotify and enjpy :) more songs will be added as chapters are added to this book.

  
  
  
  


“Guessing from how heavy that hatch is and we don’t have a handle on this side, we’ll have to use our strength together to open it.” 

They could hear thunder from above. 

“I think you’re underestimating my strength alone.” 

“Is this really a time to brag, Levi?” 

“I’m not bragging you shithead, I’m speaking the truth. If you’d stop being so fucking hotheaded then we can have a solution by now but no.” 

_You’re my fucking enemy._

_You killed my father in cold blood._

_Murderer._

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been down here. One thing he does know is that it’s been so long that he’s fallen asleep and now he is starving. It was still cold in here, his ass was officially numb. His wrists are aching along with his ankles, and his clothes feel like there is a second layer of cold skin. 

Because of their intention, both of them knew of the obvious. They wouldn’t give them anything they needed, no food or water until they caved in and confessed their secrets. In Levi’s case, an Ackermans weakness and their new weapons. In Eren's case, what the Marleyan government was planning next and any information on Zeke they needed to make it to the top ranks back on Marley. 

Every time they came to interrogate they tried to get the focus off of each other. Levi wasn’t giving away any information, rather taking the hits than giving away his secrets. But every time the soldiers went to question Eren and try to physically harm him, Levi would try to bring the attention back on himself. 

It was almost like the captain was taking the harsh questioning rather than have Eren go through it. Was it because Levi knew that Eren shouldn’t be here? He had said he would get Eren out of here, and if Eren was too injured he wouldn’t be no help in that situation. 

The soldiers gave up on the harsh treatment when it came to Levi, insisting on using whatever chemicals they came up with to inject in his system. Levi had let it happen and Eren couldn’t even fathom the reason why. It wasn’t enough to knock the Ackerman out, just enough so he was weak. The soldiers wanted to see an Ackerman weak, what was their weakest point? They have to know. 

When it came to questioning Eren the soldiers gave him what Levi received when he was first interrogated. Hits were landed to his face and when Eren would back talk like his hotheaded self would, he received kicks to the stomach. How much blood has he coughed up? How much blood ran from his nose? It was enough to freeze and crack on his skin. 

They were being treated like fucking animals and it angered Eren to his core. He wouldn’t cave and give them any information. Not like Levi caved in either, all he did was spill insults like it was the only words in his vocabulary. Eventually Eren started to do the same thing, although it felt foreign on his tongue. He hoped it didn’t show. 

They’ve been trying to form an escape plan ever since the drug wore off and Eren could feel most of the pain in his stomach dwindle down to nothing, well, _almost_ nothing. 

He may or may not have bruised ribs. 

“You’d be amazing to see what I can do with a knife,” Levi said, beginning to kick it out of his boot, making the chains clink together.

Irritated, Eren rolled his eyes. “I get it, you’re stronger than me. Can we _please_ get along with this shit? We have to work together to get out of here. We both want to go home.”

“Are you kidding me?” Levi shook his head to get his bangs out of his face, “I’ve been keeping the soldiers focus on me so your dumbass could think of a way out of here.” 

He narrowed his eyes, “yeah? I thought you just liked to be kicked around like a bitch.” 

“Yeah, cause being a bitch is my kink.” Levi snapped, “now stop, I feel like I’m talking to my fucking sister. How old are you anyway?” 

_What?_

“What?” Eren scoffed, offended. “I don’t have to tell you that.” 

“I’m assuming you’re still a kid, then. Even worse,” Levi rolled his eyes, “great. Kenny will love this shit.” 

Eren let out a huff and slammed his head against the wall to feel something else besides the hatred he’s got for the man in front of him. “I’m twenty four, if you’re so inclined to know.”

Levi gave him an amused glance, “we’re close in age. I’m twenty six.” 

His eyes widened as he looked back at Levi. An Ackerman wasn’t in their prime until their thirties. Levi was like _this_ and he was only twenty six? 

More importantly, he was only two years older than Eren. That means he would have to have been… only fifteen when he killed his father. 

_“I don’t want to kill you but I will.”_

He remembers some of what they talked about that night, he does remember Levi letting his guard down because at one point he looked like a scared kid when that first gun shot rang. 

Levi was just a kid like Eren was.

Was he ordered by his country to do that? 

No, he was searching for people. Eren remembers, he doesn’t remember their names but he was trying to find them. 

The raven had been desperate. Just how Eren was with his mother and his friends. Desperate for war. 

Levi had called the war bullshit though, and the way he was acting showed it. He couldn’t give two shits about the war, all he wanted was to get home to his family. 

Who knew the bastard had a soft spot? 

“What’s different about you and I is experience,” Levi explained, “but you said your brother was Zeke Yeager?” 

He practically spit out the name. 

Zeke was an asshole, Eren couldn’t exactly blame him. 

He nodded, “yeah, my older brother. He’s thirty-“ 

“Does it look like I care?” Levi interrupted, “I want the man dead, I don’t give a shit about if he should live a long life or not.”

“But he’s my brother-“ 

“You’re brother killed someone close to me on that fucking battle field and I wasn’t fast enough to stop it,” Levi’s eyes darkened in the candlelight. “I would use my words wisely if I were you, Yeager. Let me finish before you test my patience. The last person who did had their throat slit.” 

Eren gulped and nodded, swallowing his comebacks and staying quiet. 

Levi continued, “are you two close?” 

Again, Eren nodded. 

“Does he leak military information to you?” 

“Yes.” 

He hummed, “good. That’s good. We’re taken by Marleyan soldiers, right? That means they came on a boat to cross the ocean. They would have had to take a different boat rather than everyone else if they plan on returning home. And it looks like you have no idea who in the fuck they are and I know for a fact you know everyone’s name in your ranks.”

“That’s right.” 

“Were any boats stolen before you came here?” 

Eren thought for a moment, was there? He couldn’t remember if there was. There was already so much going on with his mother the _last_ thing he thought about was checking the boats. 

Besides, they’ve never had traitors in their military before. 

“I don’t know that,” Eren said, “but they would have had to come separately.” 

“If there is, I’ll get you to that boat so you can go home.” 

Eren paused, “why?” 

Levi frowned and sighed, “because you’re just a kid. I want your brother dead but you? You didn’t sign up for this shit. Speaking of this shit, why’d you sign up?”

_Because I wanted to kill you._

He looked away, “it doesn’t matter.”

“Matters to me right now,” Levi shrugged, “come on, it’s gotta be something. What, did someone you love die? Because, news flash, I hear that shit every other day. War isn’t peaches and cream. We’ve _all_ had someone die. So what’s your poison?” 

“You’re awfully talkative,” Eren sighed. 

_Why are you questioning me?_

“Just trying to make conversation. You need to ease up so you can think with a clear head. I’m also bored as shit.” Levi raised his hands in defense even though they were still chained, “look, kid. I was trained for war since I could walk and it's because of my bloodline. There. Now, you.” 

_How do I even begin to tell you how much I hate you?_

_Where do I even begin?_

“I’m not a fucking kid, you asshole. We’re two years apart.” Eren glared. 

Levi eyed him quietly, waiting for an answer. 

_Why did he want to know so much?_

“It’s because of you.” 

“What, you wanna kill my people? Nothing new.” 

“No, you. I’ve been looking for you.” 

Now Levi was intrigued, Eren could see the gleam in his eye as he finally became interested. “Ah, what did I do, hm?”

Eren glanced at the chains, those could hold. They’ve been holding both of them for god knows how long they’ve been down here.

“Give me _something_ here, Eren. All I know about you is that you’re a little shit and I want to kill your brother.” 

_No._

“Is it cause I’m a murderer?” Levi said with a frown, “cause I am one, I’ll admit that.” 

_I know you are._

“I’m _ruthless_ , I’m an _assassin._ Your people put labels on me and murdered my people. Yeah, come up with something new. I’d love to hear it.” 

_Shut up._

“I follow orders, so whatever I did it probably wasn’t on my own accord.” 

_You son of a-_

“You killed my dad!” 

Levi had snapped his mouth shut. 

Erens body language was tense, eyes narrowed to form a dangerous glare that was impressive for someone who wasn’t threatening. He watched as Levi stared at him, deadpan. 

“Hm.” 

“What?” 

“Who is your father?”

“His name was Grisha Yeager,” Eren explained, his nails digging into the clamps around his wrists.

“I don’t know the names of people I’m sent after,” Levi told him. “When was this?” 

“Eleven years ago. I saw you.” 

Levi raised a brow then, “if you saw me then why didn’t you stop me? I was fifteen if it was eleven years ago. I had plenty of blood on my hands by then. They all kinda mush together after time, so…” 

Eren looked down at the dirt covered ground and closed his eyes. _His dad was just another body to him. He didn’t care._ “Because I was a fucking coward.” 

“You were thirteen.” Levi pointed out. 

_Was he trying to… comfort me?_

_What the fuck?_

_No, I won’t fall for it._

_This man is ruthless._

_Just like that night._

“My mom told me to get my dad since he was busy with work. He worked in the rural area so on the way back you had to go through the woods. It was in the middle of the night, he said someone was tailing us and told me to run back home and alert my mom.” 

He watched Levi while he spoke. The man didn’t move, his face never changed, Eren had no idea if Levi even remembered this shit. 

“But I didn’t run, I stayed back when I heard the sound of your ODM gear.” His grip tightened, “you just-“ he shook his head, “after he shot at you-“ he locked eyes with Levi again. “He wouldn’t tell you what you wanted, so you killed him anyway. And you know what you did after that? You left like-“ he yanked at the chains. “Like nothing had happened. Just flew away. Like it was just another day.” 

Silence. 

He wasn’t saying anything. 

Why? 

Their staring contest went on for a while, none of them breaking the tense silence that broke out in the small cellar. In the midst of the dull candlelight, Eren squinted to try and read the other man's eyes but.. he saw nothing. 

Absolutely fucking nothing. 

Was this man heartless? 

“You probably don’t remember,” Eren snapped, “since you’re a-“ 

“It was the first day I had ever seen a gun.” 

He stopped, _what the fuck?_ “Huh?” 

Levi leaned back against the cellar bars, “I remember. I had never seen a gun until that night. My people didn’t have the resources back then. When he shot at me I panicked.” 

“That’s no fucking excuse-“ 

“Isabel Magnolia and Furlan Church, ever heard of them?” 

Eren paused and shook his head, “what? No? What do they have to do with-“ 

“Of course not.” Levi’s shoulders sagged at Erens answer. “I was sent to retrieve them, by the time I was done with your father I found them. He thought they were of Ackerman bloodline. He experimented on them but they weren’t.” For the first time, Eren saw a different emotion in the man. “And it killed them.” 

_Dad… experimented on people? Used them as test subjects?_

_No, he’s lying. It’s not true._

His eyes rounded in shock and his mouth went agape. 

Levi stared into his eyes, that cold and dark look returning from before. “They were missing for weeks. He tortured them for _weeks_.” 

“They were your family.” 

There was no other explanation for it. And he remembers Levi speaking about them to his father that night. 

Isabel and Furlan. 

He had no clue who they were. 

“Your father had snuck over to Paradis with some other soldiers and took them when they went for a ride on their horses.” Levi explained vaguely, Eren felt like there was more to that tale. “You have your reasons for joining the military, and I’ve had reasons to stay.” 

“I…” 

“I assume he’s the one who came up with whatever drug these guys are using on me because fuck, it works.” Levi grabbed the knife he had resting on the ground. “On my end, it’s good that he’s dead.” 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” 

“You don’t.” Levi pointed the knife at him. “You Marleyans are so caught up in your twisted truth you refuse to-“ 

“You’re one to talk-“ 

“Eren-“ 

“No because you fucking-“ 

“Shut up-“ 

“Bastard-“ 

“Listen to me-“

“Fuck you-“ 

“Eren will you shut the hell up and let me talk!” 

Hearing Levi about scared him more than he thought it would. He plastered his back against the wall and let out a huff. 

_I have to get out of here._

_I need his help._

_I’ll get home._

_We’ll think of a plan._

_Then it’s the end of the eldians._

_It’s the end of Levi._

“Thank fuck, you’re pissing me off,” the raven sighed in annoyance and it took everything in Eren to pull at his chains to try and reach him even though it would be useless. “Back to the plan.” 

_Right, the plan._

“They confiscated my gear, and if they figure out how to use it, it’s over for the both of us.” 

“But you said no one but you can activate it?” 

Levi shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s what I’ve been told.” 

Eren's eyes widened, “wait so you’re working on a gamble-“ 

“I took orders from someone who played gambles,” Levi narrowed his eyes at him. “Calm down. I’m playing someone else’s gamble but it always works. I thought I told you to shut up, Yeager.” 

He shut his mouth, biting the inside of his cheek and allowing Levi to keep talking. 

“My weapons are basically big ass bombs, and they’re dangerous. It’ll easily kill us if used against us. Somehow I have to get to my gear, which means we have to go after whoever comes in here next.” 

Eren frowned, “you have one knife, are you sure you can take whoever comes down here?” 

Levi smirked, “oh, I don’t think you understand what I’m capable of. You’ve seen me first hand, don’t underestimate me.” 

That’s when Eren thought about it, how come he didn’t see Levi on the battlefield when his people raided Paradis? Was it all the smoke from the bombs? Blood on the ground? The shouts, gunshots? Eren was preoccupied with his own targets, but while he saw his brother charge for some blonde man, he was focused on finding Levi. 

Come to think about it, Levi didn’t see anyone from the Ackerman family and they all had the same look. Were they hiding?

It took everything within Eren's power to not say anything. 

_Don’t think about dad._

_Think about getting the fuck out of here._

_Deal with his issues later._

_Compartmentalize._

“What do you need me to do?” Eren questioned. 

“Keep their attention on you,” Levi explained, “if you see the drug especially. If I’m not lucid we’re not getting out of here. All I need is this knife to pick the lock, but I need you to distract them.” 

“You couldn’t have picked the lock before!?” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “no, idiot. It’ll be useless for me to do that when the hatch will be closed. From what I’ve seen it can only be open from the outside. Why would I break these chains when we won’t have a way out? We’ll lose more oxygen than we already have, brat.” 

Eren looked over to the candles that have been burning for hours. It was true. They were trapped underground sharing the air and breathing in the smoke from these candles. They won’t have oxygen for much longer, he suspects. 

His chest had begun to hurt and he thought it was because of the injuries. But now that Levi mentioned it, the lack of oxygen makes sense. Was Levi feeling the same pain in his chest? 

If they were in a smaller space then they would have suffocated within five and a half hours, maybe sooner with the candles. But there were times where the soldiers would open the hatch to let them breathe for a while. 

So they were keeping them alive and making them suffer from starvation and dehydration. It takes seven days of starvation to kill someone, and it’s painful. Dehydration not so much once the desire for a drink subsided. Usually that process lasts ten days. 

No doubt that drug had an affect on Levi also. That serum had been injected so many damn times Eren wonders if it’s taken its toll. 

Also, if what Levi said was true and his dad did that, then how come Eren never heard about that shit? Was he being lied too and kept in the dark? 

“We’ve been here for a day at most,” Eren said. “Maybe two, which means we need to get out of here within the next twenty four hours if we want to have our strength at top notch. They have to have plenty of resources out there and those same three keep coming down here.” 

Levi watched him as Eren explained. 

“I’m guessing…” Eren looked up towards the hatch, “there’s gotta be other soldiers up there. They wouldn’t be stupid enough to capture you and only have three of them. The usual amount of soldiers for a recon mission is fifteen over in Marley.” 

“Smarter than I thought,” Levi nodded and followed Eren's eyes at the hatch. “I just need to get to my gear. If there are other soldiers up there it shouldn’t be that bad.” 

“My gear is up there too,” Eren said, “they’re probably held in the same place. If we both get to our gear we can easily kill them.” 

Levi looked back at him, “keep their attention, let me pick the locks, I’ll get you out of yours. I have my own questions for them, you stay here and don’t leave without me. I’m not letting you get killed up there.” 

_Stop being so…_ caring _about my well being._

Eren nodded, “deal.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


They made small talk about different things for god knows how long until that hatch opened again. Eren made eye contact with Levi and the raven just nodded his head, and Eren swallowed nervously. 

This time, surprisingly it was only two soldiers instead of the third one. Both of them squinted when the sunlight was revealed in the cellar, and the two soldiers unlocked the cellar doors, stepping inside. 

“Round five on the table?” Eren rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. “You haven’t gotten anything from either of us so far, what’s different this time?” 

“Hm,” one of the soldiers brought out a needle and Eren immediately locked eyes with Levi, who was smoothly reaching his hands behind his back without making any noise. 

“You’ve established it’s already worked,” Eren said, gaining their attention once again. 

_Yes._

_Look at me you stupid bastards._

“So why do you need to do it again? What if you kill him without getting any information?” Eren questioned, “we’ve been trapped in here for the longest time, you don’t think he’s told me shit?” 

They both turned towards Eren, the taller one spoke. “Has he now? Told something to the enemy willingly? I doubt that.” 

Eren stretched his legs nonchalantly, shrugging. “Who knows, maybe we’re best friends now? I highly doubt he’ll tell you anything he’s told me.” 

Finally, Levi decided to play in his game. “If you tell them anything I said, I’ll kill them and then I’ll kill you.” 

Now the soldiers looked interested, they focused on Eren. “And you’re willing to tell us?” 

“Only if you let me get home and let me relay the message onto my brother,” Eren said, “you’ll be war hero’s. I promise you.” 

He watched as Levi eyed the soldiers while picking the locks, Eren looked back at them. “Well?” 

“Who knew Eren Yeager would cave this fast, hm? A couple missed meals and he’s caving. Yeah, your brother will love this. No wonder your family didn’t let you go to war until now.” The shorter one teased. 

Eren was about to clap back because _oh he fucking wanted too_ but something caught his eye. Levi had moved swiftly after getting out of his chains, sneaking up behind the soldiers with his knife held securely in his left hand. 

In a blink of an eye, so fast that Eren could barely _see_ or think of what was happening, Levi had wrapped his arm around the shorter soldier's neck and dragged the knife heavily against their throat. Blood spurred everywhere and the soldier instantly fell, dead on the spot. 

Before the other soldier had time to retaliate and grab his gun, Levi elbowed him right square in the face and landed a hit to his stomach. Eren watched in amazement while the soldier crumbled in pain, Levi removed the weapons with inhuman speed, using his left leg to kick the soldier into the wall so hard that there was a loud ‘thump,’ making Eren cringe. 

_My god._

_This guy really is a dangerous monster._

Levi twirled his knife between his fingers and made his way over to Eren like what he just did was a normal occurrence. 

Was it? 

He wasn’t even out of breath, Eren noticed. He knelt down beside Eren and began picking the locks on the chains. 

“You just..” 

“Nothing you haven’t seen before.” Levi grumbled as he successfully unhinged the lock on Erens ankles and went to his wrists. “It’s war, Eren. Nothing is fair anymore. Kill or be killed.” 

_Was that how it was with my dad?_

_Were you really forced into killing him?_

_Are you the monster that they say you are?_

Once his chains were off Eren rubbed his wrists, breath hitching as he traced over the black and blue bruises covering them. _God, how hard did I even pull? Am I really that strong?_ He frowned and rolled his ankles to get feeling back into them, his boots felt as though they were suffocating his ankles. All in all, he was uncomfortable in every way in the book. 

A hand was offered to him and he looked up at Levi, who stared down at him with a bored look on his face and one thin raised eyebrow. Eren sighed, caving in and grabbing it, getting onto his feet and.. 

Wow. 

Levi was like a foot smaller than he was. Eren knew he was short but god, not this short. No wonder Levi was the one that Paradis sent to infiltrate their land all those years ago, he was so small he could probably fit in those small places. Smart work on their part. He’s never seen a soldier this short in the military before, but his skills made up for it that’s for sure. 

The captain didn’t bother to look at him, letting go of his hand and he knelt down to the still breathing soldier that was slumped against the wall. Eren watched him grab the man's collar and hold him against the wall. “I know you’re still awake, I didn’t hit you hard enough to knock you out unless you really are that weak.” He said, grabbing the needle out of his hand and not looking back as he tossed it to Eren. 

Easily, Eren caught it and his eyes widened _. This was the one thing that could weaken Levi and he gave it to me? His back is towards me, does he not understand that I could inject him with this and use my weapons to kill him and steal Levi’s, taking it to Marley and letting them take it apart to get their advantage on Paradis? Does…_

No, Levi knows he won’t do it. 

Levi knows Eren won’t because the brunette needed him. 

Maybe Levi could sense that Eren was afraid. 

That he was weak. 

_No, I’m not weak. They’re wrong._

The injured soldier let out a grunt when Levi slammed him against the wall again. “What did you inject me with? I don't want to kill you, but you know that I will. Do you want to end up like your friend over there? Bleeding out on the floor like a pathetic bitch?” 

His eyes opened as much as the swelling would allow them too. “We… we got it from… his brother…”

The soldier's voice was quiet but Eren heard it. “Zeke knew about this?” 

When the soldier didn't reply to Eren, Levi braced the back of his knife to the man's throat, “answer him now, filthy bastard.” 

“He.. gave it to us… sent us here to experiment..”

Levi looked up at Eren, waiting for a response. 

_Well that’s something new, Zeke never told me that._

“Zeke sent you lot here with this serum,” Eren held up the needle and observed the orange liquid, “and what is in this?”

“Don't know, wasn't told.” 

Levi pressed the knife against the soldier's neck a little harder, “your experiment failed. I'm still standing. Who made this?” 

Eren eyed him, _why do you want to know?_

_So you can kill them too?_

He pressed on, “who the fuck-” 

“Grisha Yeager.” 

That caused Eren to freeze, _wait what?_

_My dad?_

He knelt down next to Levi and eyed the soldier, too focused on this man's response rather than react to the fact that he was _kneeling next to his fathers murderer_. “My dad has been dead for eleven years. You’re telling me he made that and you're just now using it?” 

_Did my mother know about this?_

_She was a ruthless woman as well but she wouldn’t approve torture.._

“His last experiment was successful, Zeke and Mrs. Yeager gave us permission to use it.” 

“My mom wouldn't condone this.” 

“Carla would do anything for her family,” the soldier chuckled darkly. “She and Zeke kept it from all of us. We were paid extra money to use it. That’s… thats all I know.” 

Levi spoke after a long moment of tense silence, “what was his last experiment?”

The soldier coughed, “hell if i know, something about a man and a woman he kidnapped from Paradis and thought they were part of the Ackerman clan but they ended up being pure Eldians, was found dead in the woods after that.” 

Eren saw Levi’s shoulders tense, _Isabel and Furlan._

So it was true. He couldn't believe it. Levi was telling the truth. _Fuck._ That's why his dad was always gone beyond the city, and his mother let him even after knowing about it?  
  


He looked to Levi, his eyes were burning with rage but his face remained emotionless. If Eren were in his shoes, fuck, he would have killed his dad too. “Where are we?” Levi asked.

“On Paradis.”

“How many soldiers are there when we escape out of here?”

“Small group,” the soldier winced when blood trickled down his throat when Levi pressed the knife in harder. “We.. came on a boat..”

Levi looked to Eren with an amused glance that said _I told you so._

Eren stood up and put the syringe in his pocket, “kill him.” 

_This was all too much._

_Just what has his family been up too?_

_How many secrets were they keeping from me?_

After Eren ordered it, Levi pulled his knife back and easily slit the throat of the man in front of him as if he were waiting to do it the whole time. The body slumped doen to the floor when Levi released his grip and he stood up, grabbing what looked kike a white cloth from his pocket and wiping off the knife. “Tch, disgusting.” 

Eren looked at him in disbelief, _what the fuck?_ This guy is insane. “What the hell?” 

“Disease is everywhere, Yeager.” Levi excused himself and glared up at him before making his way to the cellar door. Eren just stared and his face turned red in embarrassment when levi turned around and raised a brow, “are you coming or are you just gonna stand there and be useless? Or do you not wanna go home to your perfect, truth-telling family?” 

“I.. “ He shook his head and sighed, _his truth-telling family,_ “right, lets go.” 

He had a bone to settle his family for keeping him in the dark like this.

  
  
  


Levi insisted on being the first one up the stairs that lead to the hatch because Eren didn’t have any weapons. Eren knew that it wasn’t because Levi thought he was weak, it was honestly the best move since Eren had taken quite a couple hits to his ribs and it wasn’t a good idea for him to do too much or his injuries would get worse since he doesn’t heal fast. 

He followed right behind the shorter man and cringed when the dark, cloudy sky was finally in view. Small drops of rain landed on his face when Levi hopped onto the ground, holding his hand down for Eren to take. And for the second time in a matter of minutes, he grabbed Levi’s calloused hand once more and allowed the older man to help him out of the cell and get on topside ground once more.

“No one is up here,” Eren observed while both of them were still crouched down, scouring the area. They were in the middle of the woods; the hatch was right in between trees and bushes. “I thought he said there were other soldiers?”

“Could’ve lied to make us believe we were outnumbered,” Levi replied, eyebrows drawn as he continued to look around. Eren could tell he was straining to hear or see anything around them.

Eren tried to do the same. 

_If that’s the case, then why did I try to keep you alive?_

_That was the whole fucking point._

_The serum is right in my pocket. Make him weak enough and he’s dead._

_But why can’t I fucking do it?_

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself before opening them again, “right.”

“If there are other soldiers then we have to get out of here as fast as possible, come on,” Levi stood up and put his knife back in his boot. When he winced Eren was about to ask him what was wrong but the raven cut him off, “it’s that stupid serum, I’m fine. Just look for our stupid fucking gear so I can get your ass home.”

Finding their gear wasn’t all that hard as it was all hoarded under a stash of bushes far from the hatch. Eren literally stumbled on it, falling right next to it with an “oof” that alerted Levi from the other end of the scene. Eren pushed himself up and by the time Levi got there he was in a sitting position, separating the gear.

They distinguished which weapons were theirs. Eren strapped his gear to his own straps on his legs and waist. His uniform was almost similar to Levi’s, the black undertones but he had more belts around him to carry the bullets for the gun he held along with the few knives. 

On the battlefield he saw an Eldian with dark brown hair who was shooting _arrows_ out of all things. If he wasn’t so busy with having his hands full trying not to die at the hand of a blade he would have been amazed as she hit every target between the eyes. He wished she was on their side. 

He looked over and saw Levi fit his ODM gear on, fixing the gas tank and the blades on his swords. He had small steel rods connected on the top of his wrists. They were smaller versions of some other one’s he saw, he remembers hearing the words ‘thunder spears’ somewhere on the battlefield. _Those were the bombs he was talking about._

He saw them on the battlefield first hand, it was the first time his people had ever seen something like that. They thought they were the only ones who had bombs but the other side proved them wrong. Just like the day a couple years ago when they retaliated with guns for the first time. 

Technology was improving day by day and sometimes it almost scared him. 

“Can you reload those?” Eren asked. 

“Don’t know. Never had to use them. Swords had always been enough.” 

_Swords have always been enough._

Dear god, okay. 

Eren stood back up when he finished putting his gear back on, adjusting the weight so he could keep the serum on his belt. “I.. why did you give me the drug?” 

Levi glanced up at him, “because I know you wouldn’t use it on me. And I have my own team who can experiment if it’s in my system already. Now come on, Yeager,” he said, pressing on the path in front of them. 

_What?_

_Is that why you let them inject you all those times?_

_… smart, I guess._

He followed Levi through the forest, the two of them walking side by side a couple feet apart. It was still raining, making his own hair damp while Levi had put his hood on. _Wish my uniform came with a fucking hood._

_I could kill him now,_ Eren thought to himself as he looked down at his loaded weapons. _It would be so easy. I have no use for him anymore._

_But what if everything he's saying is true?_

_How much do they know about us?_

And how little does Eren know about all of this? 

He pressed a hand to his forehead as a headache came on, this was shit. This situation was shit. He was going to give his brother shit when he got home. When he tells Zeke he was rescued by an enemy Zeke will for sure shit his pants. 

_I really wanna see that._

The weather had progressively got worse but the two of them proceeded down the path, Levi cut down the branches in their path as Eren ended up following suit. 

He did have something on his mind though. 

“Isabel and Furlan, how bad was the damage?” 

That seemed to catch Levi off guard but as quick as it came, it was gone in an instant and Eren could see him grip his blades a bit tighter. “They looked starved and had needle marks in them, looked like they’ve done fucking _heroin_ for years.” 

“How old were they?” 

“Furlan died at sixteen. Isabel died at fourteen.” 

They were so fucking young. 

What was his dad doing with kids? 

“Your people have been going after mine for too damn long,” Levi’s deep voice rang throughout the woods, making Eren stay silent. “I found your dad soon after I was ordered. I’m not gonna reassure you, I killed the bastard out of pure rage. I had a right too. Furlan and Isabel were not the first people he took.” 

“Why are you telling me all of this?” 

Levi turned around then, aiming his sword at Eren and the brunette was quick to grab his gun, taking the safety off and aiming it right in between Levi’s eyes, waiting for him to make the next move. But the captain's answer surprised him. 

“Because I don’t give a rats ass about this stupid fucking war, I don’t give a shit who lives or dies anymore.” He said, sounding tired. “Your brainwashed people will hunt us down one day, kill us all, death is a mercy. You hurt us so much we fought back. And you still believe in what you’re fighting in? You’re torturing innocents, you bastard. You and all of your people, including your pathetic, lying family.” 

_He was right about the experiments,_ Eren told himself. He took a big chance and lowered his gun. “I was taught that you and your people turned on us after defeating the common enemy.” 

Levi kept his weapon drawn, his eye twitched. “Because your people used us as mindless slaves afterwards. We were strong but my people were so fucking convinced that we would live good lives but no. We were slaves. We did your dirty work and we were tired of it. After we found your people began to drop us like flies, we fought back and you ended up killing half of us anyway.” 

“How do I know you're telling the truth?” 

“You don’t. None of you do. None of you ever will. My people will go down with the truth while yours will go down with the lie. You tell yourselves whatever you need to make you feel better about your actions.” Levi lowered his blade then. “And I don’t fucking care.” 

“If we’re so murderous, then why don’t you care?” 

“Because I don’t.” He glared, “at least, not anymore.” 

Lightning flashed and soon a crack of thunder shook the ground beneath them. 

_His friend._

“Who did my brother kill?” _That must be what made him this way._

Levi became defensive again, “that is none of your business.” 

“If I have to relay the message onto my brother it is. Sorry to say for your friend, but I doubt he cares.”

If looks could kill Eren he would be dead on the spot, but instead of drawing his gun, he kept it at his side. It was like he was facing a feral animal. Levi was facing one too. Erens intelligence was dangerous. His intel made him a dangerous enemy to Paradis. 

“And I don’t care that I killed your precious daddy you of so love, so looks like we’re even.” He turned around, “now that we’ve had our millionth lovers quarrel, follow me so I can get you the hell out of here.” 

_He just- this guy-_

One day Levi will meet the barrel of his gun. 

But not now. 

“Why?” 

Levi didn’t look back at him as they walked down the other again, “because, like I said, you just want to kill me. You don’t want this war. You’re just a kid who doesn’t see the truth, and I want you to live long enough to see it. I couldn’t protect them, I couldn’t protect him but dammit, the least I can do is get you to safety.” 

“I’m your enemy.” 

“No one is my enemy besides your brother.” 

Eren kept his weapon on him while he took in Levi’s reply. What if he was actually telling the truth? What if his people _did_ do that? What then? 

But then again, why would he believe him over what he’s been told all of his life by his own people? 

He just had to get home. 

While he was lost in his thoughts he jumped back when he bumped into Levi’s back, who had stopped walking. He extended his arm out to say _stay here, stay quiet_. Eren listened to the silence besides the pelting rain. 

Thunder cracked again and Eren cringed, why did they stop? 

He looked down and saw Levi had gripped his blades tighter, eyes roaming the scenery around them, assessing the situation. Eren didn’t know the situation. He looked around as well. 

Around them, they were crowded by different sized trees and bushes. The dark, almost black clouds made it harder to see along with the rain and wind that wouldn’t let up since they escaped a bit ago. 

They’ve been on this path for a bit and it’s been too easy. Eren knew that. It had been too easy, they were bound to run into something and Eren was too lost in his own thoughts to remember that. He was with the enemy and they now had a common enemy. Just like how the war started. 

How ironic. 

The sound of a gun popped off and Levi swung around to Erens side, deflecting it with his sword faster than light. Eren had dunked but as he did and drew his gun, he felt a surge of pain in his left shoulder and he cried out, covering it with his hand. Bullet. Shoulder. Pain. 

He collapsed before Levi’s order that was barely heard over the sudden noise.

“Get down!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i still feel like im getting into the groove of this type of book. feedback is always appreciated for any author, especially at the beginning. if you're here from hiraeth then i deeply appreciate your patience for that book as well. thank you for reading this fic- its quickly becoming another love of mine. 
> 
> tune in for the next chapter of orenda - cj


	4. failure to save a life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thought he could calculate every move on the field, he thought he was the fastest out of everyone. 
> 
> But the one time where he wasn’t fast enough, another person he loved was killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly Levi's thoughts about the whole situation and a small flashback to who was killed by zeke, but i'm assuming that most of you already had the assumption of who was considering, ya know, everything cannon. 
> 
> The eldians uniform is the same one as the eldians in season four and erens basically matches the uniforms on marley just in case you needed a visual. Also I incorporated the thunder spears and ODM gear, but the thunder spears are smaller, imagine the, only a little less than a foot long with just as much power.

“Get down!” Levi shoved him to the ground and deflected another bullet, “Eren! You good?” 

“I’m hit,” Eren groaned, holding his shoulder with one hand and grabbing his gun with his free hand. “Fuck!” 

_ Right above the heart.  _

_ He can’t bleed out here.  _

_ Not when he’s so fucking close.  _

Thunder boomed in the sky and the rain picked up, he looked up to Levi who had crouched down. More bullets ran out and it was soon that Eren couldn’t tell the difference between harsh thunder and the sound of bullets echoing throughout the forest. 

“Yeager! Ackerman! Show yourselves!”

He watched Levi sheath his blades and switched to the weapons on his wrist. He took off a strap and grabbed a string. He then fixed his ODM gear and looked back at Eren, “you stay down here, I’ll take care of them.” 

“M’not goin anywhere anyway,” he rolled his head to the side and gripping his shoulder, breath hitching when he felt the bullet move inside of him. 

If he wasn’t focusing on the steering pain in his shoulder he could have seen the worried glance Levi sent him before launching his gear and flying into the trees, eyes full of passion of murderous delight and the instinct to  _ fight, kill, hit. _

Bullets rang out and the sound of them clashing with Levi’s blades were the only things keeping Eren awake. Through his half lidded eyes he watched as Levi used his cape for camouflage in the trees as he hopped from branch to branch, Eren could only assume he was figuring out how many soldiers were surrounding them. 

Lightning. 

Thunder. 

Bullets. 

Clang. 

Eren groaned and squeezed his eyes shut in pain as he held his gun to his chest, trying to focus on taking deep breaths, sounds around him, anything to stay awake. 

_ I cannot die here.  _

_ I will not die here.  _

_ Not by a bullet shot by someone wearing the same uniform at me.  _

The sound of a bomb that shook the ground shocked him and his eyes snapped open, the smoke had faded fast because of the harsh rain and he looked around for Levi or some other soldier. Someone. 

Was Levi okay? 

Did it kill the soldiers? 

He could barely focus and his heart pounded, he felt his own blood trickle down. 

_ Fuck, I’m bleeding out.  _

_ He’s gotta hurry.  _

He heard the wheezing sound of Levi’s ODM gear and he looked to the side, watching Levi’s body twist through the trees as he accurately shot down another bomb to the ground, leveling out another spot. 

Few bullets rang out that Levi deflected with his blades and Eren saw the captain reel his arm back and let out a shout as he shot out another bomb, hitting the ground and more gunshots were silent. He was dwindling down the numbers.

He was relentless, ruthless, when he  _ needed  _ to be. 

And right now, while Eren was bleeding out on the ground from a bullet wound, this was the time he needed to be. Eren understood that. 

The bullets abruptly stopped and the only thing heard now was the rain hitting the ground. He saw Levi observe the area quickly, assessing the situation once more before anchoring his gear down next to Eren and landing hard on his feet. He crouched down and put his weapons away. “Shit,” he said, “how bad?” 

“Missed my heart and lungs,” Eren coughed and he felt blood or heavy spit catch in his throat. “I.. fuck,” he groaned, his vision began to get blurry. “Bleeding out.”

He felt Levi put pressure on the would, “come on kid, stay awake.” Levi had taken off his cape and held both sides of Erens shoulder to try and stop the bleeding. “Look at me Eren, stay awake. I gotta get you home.” 

“I fucking hate you,” Eren whispered and he coughed again, “I hate you so much.” 

_ Keep me alive.  _

_ I need to apologize to my mom.  _

The last words she heard from him could not be that. It could not be her thinking her son wanted to kill just for the joy of wanting revenge, following from her own footsteps.

And he had to find out the fucking truth hiding within his family.

“Hate me all you want when you’re better, idiot. Come on,” he saw Levi look around and when he spotted something he looked back at Eren. “There’s a supply bag, there’s gotta be something in there. Stay here and stay awake.” 

But Eren was so far gone that all he heard next was the crash of thunder and then silence. 

  
  
  
  
  


_

  
  
  
  
  


When Levi came back with the supply bag and saw that Eren had passed out he cursed to himself.  _ I told that idiot to stay awake.  _ He knelt down and unzipped the bag, searching through it quickly and finding bandages.  _ Thank whatever god is up there.  _

He ripped Eren's shirt and lifted his chest, wrapping the bandages around the wound tightly to make sure no more blood fled out of his body. 

_ I can’t let this kid die.  _

_ I can’t let anyone else die on my watch. _

With as much speed as he could, he grabbed Erens gun and put it in his pocket, zipping the bag and swinging it over his shoulder. It was useless to put his cape back on so he snapped it around Erens neck, putting the hood on so he would seem like he was Eldian too in case they were caught by anyone on his side.  _ He’s gotta hurry, there’s no exit wound. _

_ I gotta carry him.  _

_ No other way.  _

_ Dammit.  _

The drug had worn off mostly but a little bit of it remained in his system and he had a little trouble picking Eren up, but when he did he held him tight and sighed as he followed down the path once more. 

_ Where the fuck were the soldiers horses? _

_ Did they not have any?  _

_ Just my fucking luck.  _

He’s got an injured kid whose brother killed- 

No, don’t think about it. 

The only thing he has to worry about is getting this stupid kid to safety. 

_ Fucking hell.  _

  
  
  


Levi had been around Paradis since he was born so he knew the land like the back of his hand and he knew for a fact that there were watch towers a mile down, which meant there was a small hideout cabin in between them. He helped Mike and Erwin build it back in the day. 

It was difficult carrying someone taller than him and he cursed the entire way. By the time he almost set Eren down to take a breather he finally spotted the cabin.  _ Thank god.  _ He gripped Eren tighter and trudged over to it. 

Once he got the door opened with his foot, yes, his foot only, he kicked it shut and set Eren down on the couch that sat in the living room. 

He had no time to take care of himself despite feeling weak from the stupid serum. He set the bag down on the floor and fully took Eren's shirt off this time, folding it nicely and putting it on the ground. He took his cape off of Eren as well, setting it on the floor after folding it. 

Levi unwrapped the bandages around Erens shoulder and pressed his fingers to Erens neck and he sighed in relief when there was a pulse.  _ At least the kid is good at something,  _ he thought to himself as he tossed the wet and bloody bandages aside. 

Would you look at him, patching up an enemy. Look at him go. 

Sarcasm. 

If Kenny found out, he would have Levi's head on a silver platter. 

Let's hope he never does. 

Patching someone up wasn't exactly Levi’s forte, it was Hange’s. Killing was his, it was the only thing he was good at. Patching someone up and saving their lives felt foreign to him. Out of all people, it was a Marleyan. An annoying brat at that. 

Gotta practice somewhere. 

He tried to remember everything Hange had briefed him on when it came to bullet wounds. He had already gotten the bullet out after some time, leaving his hands and Eren’s torso a bloody mess. Now all he had to do was replace the bandages one more time after disinfecting it and stitching it up. 

While he was doing so, he wished he had Hange or Armin here to help him out. Those two knew basically everything about anything you asked them. Levi only dreams of being that intelligent. 

After finishing his tasks, he set everything aside on the table and stood up. He removed his weapons and sat them on the table as well, not bothering to be quiet since Eren wasn't exactly asleep, he had just passed out from blood loss and was now a wet, bloody, sweaty mess. 

He went to the messy kitchen and sought out the spare food his people set in here for emergencies. While he lit a pan over the fore he started, he looked over to the injured soldier on the couch. 

Out of all people, how was he,  _ humanity's strongest _ , captured by a couple measly soldiers? He would understand anyone else, but himself? He can’t even remember what happened before he was captured. All he remembers was that he was rushing towards  _ him  _ and then-

Mistakes were not in Levi’s vocabulary. Mistakes memes casualties and he tried to avoid those as much as possible. 

Kenny wouldn't allow mistakes and neither would anyone else in the regiment. 

When he finished cooking he sat back at the table and ate in silence, listening to the thunder and rain hitting the roof of the cabin. He tried not to let his mind wander but it failed, what else was he supposed to do while sitting here in silence? 

He glanced back at Eren again with a frown on his face. He had killed this kid's father when he was fifteen. It was only an order back then, Levi didn't even think about if the man had a family or not. All he cared about was finding his friends. 

Grisha Yeager. 

The name didn't even sound familiar to him now that he thought about it. But now he knows that Grisha was part of the Yeager family and now he’s glad he did it. All he was told was a description and that was it. He does remember the night he did it though, and Levi hated himself for it. He was only a couple minutes late. He held Isabel in his arms as she died, Furlan already being dead when he found that cellar with Hange and Erwins help. 

It was at that moment when Levi found the entire war pointless. Why were his people being slain? Mothers, fathers, children.. All for what? All his people wanted was freedom and just when they thought they got it, Marley hunted them down. Slaughtered them like animals. They hid behind their walls like cattle.

His people never attacked first, despite how much the government wanted too. They didn't have the resources at first, starting out with just measly swords. But everything changed when him, Hange, and Erwin came back with a gun that was down in the cellar where they found their friends. Soon, they developed versions of their own. 

Levi put his face in his hands and trailed them into his hair, gripping at the wet locks in frustration. How the hell was he going to get out of this? Once he gets home he’ll receive so much shit from not only the upper ranks, but his own subordinates. He’s been captain for six years, and now he messes up?

He had a flawless record and it was ruined by a dumb mistake, but he would come home with something. 

Taking a glance over to the serum that was resting next to his gear, he bit his bottom lip in thought. This drug, whatever was in it, was what Erwin meant when he said he suspected that the Marleyans had come up with something to hurt them.

His people had no idea about this so when he first was injected by the soldiers he knew he had to keep any information about it locked in his head. He had to relay the message to Hange, she would know what to do about it. 

“Fucking four-eyes,” he whispered to himself, “you better have made it out of that fuckery alive.”

_ If you’re dead then I’ll fucking kill you.  _

_ Not you too.  _

There are so many things that happened during the raid Eren’s army did. Everything was peaceful behind the walls, it was such a nice fucking day. Levi spent his time with Mikasa and their mother, having a family dinner because it was their first day relieved from military duty when they heard it. 

It was during the nighttime when they were playing a game of chess, Levi had just lost so it was between Mikasa and his mother when the ground shook with the force of a thousand men. He remembers jumping into action, instincts kicking in and rushing Mikasa and his mom out of the house and using their horses to get to HQ as fast as they could. 

All three of them were top ranks of the military. He remembers seeing the innocent civilians' faces hold fear but once they eyed all the soldiers on their horses running to HQ, there was some hope there. He saw it. His people had faith in their army. It was always something he was proud of. 

They had met Kenny once they arrived and suited up in their gear and maybe that’s where it went wrong. Maybe. He doesn’t know. 

He thought he could calculate every move on the field, he thought he was the fastest out of everyone. 

But the one time where he wasn’t fast enough, another person he loved was killed.

  
  
  
  


**Three days ago. Within the walls of Paradis. The night of the raid.**

  
  
  
  


“What’s the situation, sir?” Kuchel rushed as her and her family rode up in horses, meeting her brother Kenny at the entrance. Levi and Mikasa followed quietly behind them, assembling their thunder spears on their wrists while riding their horses. 

They’ve had random attacks before so both siblings always had weapons loaded in their horses' saddles. Mikasa’s idea. 

Kenn had taken a glance at his nephew and niece, “you two find your squads and-” another bomb went off that shook the ground, this one closer to the walls. They all steadied their horses and remained calm despite the chaos arising. “Find section commander Erwin! Commander Pixis will tell you what to do!”

Mikasa was the one who spoke up, “but sir what about-”

“Don’t stay here, you ride out now! What are you gonna do? Let our land get blown up?” Kenny yelled at her.

Levi had followed Kenny’s orders right away and rode up to the front of headquarters without looking back.  _ Stupid,  _ he thought,  _ why don’t you ever listen, Mikasa? _

Another bomb went off and orders were thrown around, yelling and screaming. Levi finally made it to the front of the scouting legion headquarters. All the soldiers were suiting up in their uniform and in a frenzy putting their weapons together, everyone was running around, gathering their horses and the military police came down to square off civilians from disturbing any of the soldiers.

“Captain Levi!” Petra rode up next to him and he didn’t spare a glance at her, still looking around and assessing the current situation. “Special operation squad is geared up and ready to go, we’re the last to ride out.”

“The last?” Levi asked in question,  _ why not first? We’re always first. We slaughter the front lines and leave the rest to the other squads.  _

_ Something was different here.  _

_ Was this another one of Erwin’s gambles that he convinced commander Pixis to play on the battlefield? _

_ If so, I have no choice but to follow.  _

_ I’m not the fucking commander.  _

The rest of his squad caught up with him and Levi caught sight of Erwin along with his own troops, Hange following and Mike right beside them. They were all section commanders, ranked the best of the best, Mike was right under Levi when it came to skill. 

To have the four of them teamed up, they were the four strongest of the military.

They were unmatched. 

Add Mikasa to the mix and it only went downhill from there, no one stood a chance. The only difference was that Mikasa was five years younger than Levi. She was twenty one and finally old enough to be captain. 

Levi rode up to them, eyeing Erwin, his best friend since they were kids. They grew up in the barracks together, having received private training lessons when they were discovered to be almost equal in strength. “You better have a good explanation by putting my squad last, Erwin.”

Erwin glowered at him, “I have a sense the enemy has something new and if this is their game, then I want everyone of your bloodline the last squads to head out. Keep your sister separated from you, don’t interact with her whatsoever. No Ackerman within a mile of each other.”

He narrowed his eyes, ignoring the chaos around him. All he focused on was Erwin. “There’s something you’re not telling me, is there something that can only hurt us and not you?  _ Is  _ that what you’re thinking?”

“We don’t know,” Hange interrupted, “but just listen to us, lead your squad to the right and Mikasa will lead her own in the center, Kenny to the left flank and Kuchel will run with her own private orders. Those are our orders. We already lost most of you, we can’t lose the rest and lose our strength.”

“And keep your hoods on,” Mike said, “like she said, we can’t afford to lose any of you.”

“Tch. Fine,” he looked up at Erwin, “I trust you implicitly, don’t be a dumbass.” 

With a million questions bitten back by his tongue, a quiet “yes ma’am,” and “yes sir,” escaped from his mouth and he followed Petra to where his own squad was loaded in the formation. 

_ What was the enemy here for this time? _

_ What do they have that could destroy us? _

All he could do was trust his superiors, and his best friends orders. Erwin was usually right about his theories, and when combined with Armin, those two were the smartest strategists in the scouting legion. Levi was only a mere captain, he had to listen to them. They told him to kill and he did. That was his job. 

“They just don’t stop, do they?” Levi questioned with a bored tone once his squad was located towards the right side of the formation that was lined up at the walls exit, rearing up and ready to go.

Gunter was the one to respond to him as everyone was busy checking their gear, “fuckers just won’t admit they’re wrong. If we have to kill them to have peace then so be it. I just wanna start a family already.”

Levi frowned. Despite being ordered to do so, he did wonder sometimes. 

_ Is murder and genocide really the answer to their freedom? _

_ Is there any middle ground instead of risking their asses at random? _

_ How many more innocent, brainwashed people does he have to bomb and slice through until there’s peace? _

Another bomb went off and he snapped his head up to see the bell had rung and the gates began to open. Erwin was right up front with the other section commanders,  _ don’t do anything reckless this time, idiot,  _ he thought to himself. 

If there was a god he would pray, but no chance. What god will allow a war to happen? The slaughtering of his people? 

None. 

“Ride out!” Commander Pixis shouted. 

Riding outside the walls was something Levi had always loved when they would go out and explore their land and come back with resources. He loved seeing the various animals and sitting in the fields with his horse. It was always peaceful. 

Peace was the opposite of what was happening once his squad made it out of the walls behind the easily two to three hundred soldiers in their legion. The usually fresh air he was welcomed with was doomed with dark clouds and bombs landing left and right every couple seconds. 

Levi detoured his squad to the right flank like he was ordered too and they followed without question, like always. The dark clouds made it hard to make out what was happening. 

Bombs fell to the ground and it made horses rear up and fuck up for formation, some bombs probably killed some of his people but he didn’t seen to think about that. All he could do was look straight forward and ignored how some of his comrades landed right under the explosives. 

“What are your orders, captain?!” Eld shouted over the gunshots that began to echo across the grassy plains that were almost enveloped by the forest. 

Levi’s eyes scoured the battlefield, he couldn’t see his family anywhere. No surprise there, Mikasa had to be filled in and if she was then he wouldn’t be able to see her until they exterminated their enemy and made it back to the walls. 

They always made it back. 

Always. 

They promise each other every time before they go out. 

His friends better be alright.

“Don’t you dare die on me!” Levi shouted, urging his horse to go faster. “Erwin ordered us to not engage unless needed, but I’m dismissing that order right now. You see anyone of the enemy, I want them slaughtered, no regrets!” 

“But if we’re put in the back then that means something is-”

“Oluo I don’t have time for you to question my intentions!”  _ Don’t question me on the battlefield. I know what’s best.  _ It went unsaid. 

His squad were the only people he trusted once they were engaged in battle. It’s why he chose them.

The ground rattled and shook hard beneath their horses' hooves. Every bomb that went off created more smoke which made it almost impossible to see through, most of everyone's eardrums popped because of how loud the noise was. 

Levi could hear his own people’s screams along with the enemies and he knew he was getting closer. He had to find whoever was in command despite Erwins orders. Find who’s in command and they gain control. 

No, he had to listen. 

But he wanted this stupid war to end. 

He couldn’t lose anyone else. 

Because his squad was all the way on the right they tasked themselves with taking out the Marleyans outer flank, Levi ordered his squad to launch their thunder spears and bomb the entire side to eliminate some of the bombers. 

“Make it to the forest, that’s where the other bombers are coming from!” Levi shouted, wiping the blood from his face with the back of his sleeve.

All they had to do was make it to the forest unseen, that’s all he had to do. He was better in the air than on his horse, so were the rest of his people. 

Unexpectedly, a bomb went off and landed next to where his squad was and it almost caused them the formation. Their horses reeled back and they had to gain control before they crashed into each other. 

Petra had taken a hit from the bomb and fell back. He looked back and his eyes widened in shock as she fell, hitting her back onto the solid ground with a cry, holding her left shoulder. Levi wouldn't have that.  _ Not her. No.  _

“Petra!” he shouted and he turned his horse around, making his squad stop in the middle of all the smoke, breathing in the dangerous chemicals. Levi jumped off of his horse and landed next to her and shook her, when she opened her eyes he grabbed her hand. “Get your ass up, we’re almost there, come on.”

With some struggle of dodging bullets, he got onto his horse and she sat behind him as her own horse was killed in the explosion. Levi kicked his horse and they started up again with, “heya!” and they were off again at a faster pace.

He could feet Petra cling onto him tightly and he resisted the urge to reassure her that everything would be fine. She was so young, she couldn’t die.  _ It’s fine. They’ll make it out alive. Just like every other time.  _

It was a relief when they made it to the forest. “Oluo, take the horses and hide! Gunter, Petra, Eld, we’re switching to ODM gear and taking out the bombers! Once we get them taken care of then our people can officially fight!”

A chorus of “yes sir!” and then they were off, and Levi could feel himself itching for a fight once again. It always happened when he got to fly, the instinct kicking in to  _ fight, kill,  _ and to save his people was the only thing echoing through his head. 

“Petra to the left! Gunter go north! Eld, to the east!” He ordered as they flew, “I’ll go to the south. Use whatever weapons you need but kill them all before they kill our top ranks! Protecting them is the ultimate goal here!”

_ It had to be. They had one job. They could do it. _

_ If they were put in the back so they would be a last resort, then they could at least protect the top ranks without being on the battlefield.  _

_ They would be in the air, which was always better.  _

_ His team worked better like that anyway. _

Once they were drifted apart Levi launched his gear and led himself to the south side of the forest. Immediately after a couple miles he heard shouting from below him and saw someone, a blonde man with glasses hidden behind a cannon and another person. A brunette? Levi couldn’t make out who it was. 

He’s seen the blonde before. His name was Zeke Yeager, he held a position under that filthy commander of theirs. Kenny always spoke of the Yeager family with distaste and Levi never really understood because what the fuck can they do to change the past, nore did he care. 

Yes, Levi did have a personal vendetta but if it means he could stop fighting, he would let it go without any regrets. What’s done is done. 

He could only see the tops of their heads and as soon as Levi went to fire his thunder spear at them, the brunette rode off with a blonde girl who had rode up and given him an extra horse. Levi didn’t mind though, they’ll probably die in battle anyway. 

But Zeke? Yeah. Levi could take care of him right now. He smirked, Kenny would be proud. So would Erwin, as his friend had a deep hatred for the man. Zeke was smart, he’s come up with things to weaken the Paradis military before. 

A gunshot rang out and right before it hit him, Levi deflected it with the metal sword he sheathed and flipped backwards, landing on a tree branch. He grunted and leaned against the tree, dunking when another gunshot rang out. 

_ God dammit.  _

_ They saw me. _

He held his arm, he wasn’t hit, and sighed in relief. And even if he was, the metal plates on his chest and back were bullet proof. “Tch,” he pulled his hood tighter over his face. He knew the enemy knew who he was, no doubt. Just by taking a look at him they would know despite how dark it was. 

It’s not like Levi carried guns, he preferred his swords, it was the older uniform and he couldn’t wrap his head around using a gun. He was so used to the older weapons he kept them, seeing as that he was familiar with them and he didn’t want to carry more weight on him. Instead of guns, his team carried their swords they could easily replenish. 

He looked down and made out seven soldiers that had their guns aimed up at him and he smirked, “stupid bastards,” he said to himself as he deflected another bullet with his left sword. With his other hand he readied his thunder spears that were attached to his forearms. 

Before he aimed and launched his own bombs down to the soldiers threatening him with their quick and deadly bullets, he heard a deep voice shout a name that made him stop. “Zeke yeager!”

Levi knew that voice. 

No, it was Erwin. 

It had to be. 

He hoped he had his squad with him, at least Mike and Hange. Hopefully Moblit. Maybe Kenny. 

Erwin better not be risking his life or anyone else's. 

Levi focused on the soldiers below him and he reeled his arm back, pulling the string on his thunder spears and shot only two of the four on his wrists. He put his arm over his face as the explosion echoed throughout the forest and the steam felt like it would have burned his skin if it wasn’t for the layered uniform he wore. 

_ Thank fuck for Hange and Moblit. _

_ They better be alright.  _

A bomb from further up ahead made his head sap backup and he sprang into action once more.  _ Erwin is up there,  _ he launched his gear again,  _ if that idiot dies the military is fucked.  _

“Come on, Erwin! You can do better than that!”

A sinister laugh was picked up by his ears and Levi knew it wasn’t Erwins, the man was composed and he wasn’t a direct killer like Levi. He didn’t find enjoyment in it like Levi did. That laugh had to belong to Zeke. Erwin was so close. Levi was so close to the both of them. 

He had to get there before Erwin because the man was alright with sacrificing his life as long as the enemy was killed. 

Stupid bastard. 

He raced to the front of the forest, unleading thunder spear after thunder spear to the ground to kill every soldier that tried to come after him. From behind he could hear the threatening shouts of his team and he smirked, they were ruthless with a passion and that’s why he picked them. 

Another bomb went off, this one close to where he saw Zeke. 

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. _

When he finally launched his gear to a large pine tree he felt his heart stop and his body freeze as he saw Erwin riding on his famous white horse alone, right arm reeled back to release a thunder spear. 

He’s gonna do it. 

He’s gonna take Zeke out.

But another soldier came behind Zeke with a gun and aimed it right at Erwin and a rush of adrenaline that felt like a lightning bolt course through his body activated his fighting response. The only thing on his mind was  _ no, no, no  _ as he launched his ODM gear towards the ground. He took out his blade and held them backwards since they were made for people who were right handed and spun at an unbelievable speed. 

Kill them. 

Kill them. 

Kill him.

Protect Erwin 

Protect his people. 

A gunshot rang out before Levi even made it halfway down and he watched with helpless eyes as it went straight through Erwin’s chest. The blonde shot a thunderspear that went right over Zeke and the soldiers head and straight for Levi’s wire he had launched to the ground. 

He was so distracted by watching Erwin’s lifeless body fall off of his horse he shouted out a “No, Erwin!” and couldn’t move away fast enough before the thunder spear Erwin launched hit his gear. Levi went spiraling to the ground, losing control of his gear for the first time in his life, and crash landed into the bottom of a tree. 

Fucking hell.

With a grunt he pulled himself up, shaking his head to gain his vision. No, he did not just see Erwin die. It couldn’t be true. Not him, not him, not his best friend. No, no, no. 

Not again.

He gathered up his gear and just as he launched his wire into another tree to get on a higher level he felt a sting in the back of his neck. Levi shouted in pain and felt his nape, a needle, and he pulled it out with trembling hands. 

His vision began to blur and he tried to blink it away.

_ What’s happening? Why does my body feel numb? Why… Why am I tired? _

The weaker he felt, the more unsteady he became. He landed down on his knees hard, his hand still covering his neck.

_ What the fuck was this? _

_ I have to get to Erwin.  _

_ I have to save him.  _

_ He has to be alive. _

“Fuck. what..” he dropped his blades to the ground and came down on all fours, beginning to pant heavily as the numbing feeling was starting to become prominent in his legs and hands. His body was tingling, and he felt his tongue dry up and his throat restrict. 

_ I hope my team wasn’t hit.  _

_ I have to get to them. _

Before his eyes, a couple soldiers appeared and that’s when his arms gave in. He crashed to the ground, the tingling feeling making its way up Levi’s neck and when he felt his eyelids suddenly get heavy, he couldn’t resist. His eyes closed and he felt another dart enter his skin. 

With a soft grunt, he passed out with one thought in his mind. 

_ I failed.  _

_ I’m sorry. _

  
  
  
  


**Present time in the hideout.**

  
  
  


Levi rubbed a hand over the back of his neck as he recollected his thoughts about what had happened. He watched his best friend die on that horse, he failed Erwin just like he did Isabel and Furlan. He was always told he would outlive all of his comrades by Kenny and he refused to believe it, but now he was starting to be convinced. 

He wasn’t fast enough and that would live with him for the rest of his life. Everyone he knows will die before him, he knows it. He was put on this planet to suffer. 

Drawing his eyebrows together, he looked at Eren. He was also put on this planet to save people too, even if they were the enemy. 

But how can he label Eren as an enemy when the kid didn’t even know the truth about his father and his family? Eren didn’t seem to know anything, he was confused and shocked back in that cellar when it all went down. 

What if he found out it was his family who started this war?

He’s seen the look Eren had in his eyes, betrayal and hurt. Levi’s never been betrayed but fucks sake, he’s been hurt more times than he could count, he was numb. Levi could feel himself on the brink of insanity at times and he hated that it showed in that filthy cellar. 

But for some reason, instead of his usual instinct to follow orders and kill the enemy, he  _ couldn’t  _ kill the brunette. He hated him for killing his father. As Eren should, but Levi doesn’t really care about that. He killed him- Grisha, out of revenge. He had orders and had to follow them. 

He had to prove himself to the military somehow. 

_ It’s something about this guy…  _

_ Do I feel sorry for him? _

Eren lost his father at a young age and never knew about the experiments he was doing on Levi’s people. He could see that Eren didn’t have the scars of a warrior who’s been sent to battle. His hands weren’t calloused, his body from what Levi’s seen wasn’t littered with marks. His skin was tan and smooth, this was his first time. 

Eren was blind to the truth and it was pathetic to watch.

This kid had no business coming to the field. To hunt Levi down? Everyone had beef with his people and that was nothing new. He’s heard Eren’s reasoning too many times. 

The kid could hate him for killing his father, that’s fine. But Levi wants to get him home. 

He will gladly massacre any Marleyan soldier but he will not kill someone who is a fighter but doesn’t know what he was fighting  _ for _ . Levi didn’t want Eren to die in vain, die living a lie. Talking with him in that cellar changed things, and they really changed with their argument that had before they were attacked. 

_ “I was taught that you and your people turned on us after defeating a common enemy.” _

So fucking typical, of course that was the story they passed along. All of them were brainwashed. If it could only stop…

Levi rested his feet on the table and crossed his arms, biting his nails and looking at the forest outside the window and watching the rain pelt at the window and fall in patterns. 

If only this war never happened. If only it could stop. If only they could have peace. 

He was so fucking tired of fighting sometimes but when he was ordered to do it all the time he felt the need to do it. He needed the rush to kill, maybe it’s because of how he grew up but he needed it. 

Eren didn’t have that, he could fucking tell. Anyone could tell at this point. All he wanted to do was kill Levi and avenge his dad and he put his life on the line by going onto that field. 

The kid wanted revenge and he had a right too. 

Levi looked at Eren and watched as he slept peacefully on the couch, a frown on his face and, thankfully, his chest rising and falling. Levi hasn’t done many good things in his life, it’s not on his track record, but this can be that one thing. Even if it was the enemy, and even if he couldn’t fucking stand Eren and that disrespectful mouth he had on him. 

Nobody argued with Levi like this brat did and it drove him fucking nuts. 

Eren could be the one good deed Levi has on his shoulders to make him think that yeah, people can change. There is some good in this world. Eren had a right to hate him, but Levi is so done with the burden of having a grudge on someone.

He was tired of a hateful world. He wanted to be done fighting.

He wanted to be done, period.

Even if it means Zeke lives in the long run. 

Levi slammed his hand on the table in frustration and he felt his eyes water at the thought of not avenging Erwin’s death. Revenge led him nowhere, he had to remember. When he killed Grisha he didn’t feel any better, he just wanted the bastard dead because his friends were. 

He blinked the tears away and rested his elbows on the table, holding his face in his hands. What was he going to do when he got Eren to the coast to the spare boat? Walk all the way back to the walls? It was easily a days trip if the weather would let up, if it didn’t then maybe two. 

Would he tell them he aided a Yeager? Would he come home in time for Erwin’s funeral? He only hopes Mikasa is okay, hoping her and their mother didn’t bump heads. He was the mediator between them so who knows. 

Levi rubbed his face and held his chin as he stared out the window, taking a deep breath. 

All he had to focus on was getting Eren to that coast. 

He could do that. 

He’ll figure the rest out later. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin is not a love interest, he is simply someone Levi has grown up with since they were kids. Not being awful at writing fighting/action scenes but writing a book on war, nope, wrong bitch. 
> 
> hopefully you all liked it, feedback is appreciated :)


	5. filthy family secrets revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Huh? Oh, ohhh….” Levi tossed his head back and chuckled, looking up at the ceiling. “Oh my fucking God. Eren, you are like free comedy entertainment.”
> 
> Eren shook his head and finally mustered up the strength to stand up. He couldn’t stand up straight and he held his shoulder with one arm, but he stood on wobbly legs. He was up. “What are you talking about?”
> 
> “Ready for your heart to break again, Yeager?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thank you to those reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. im glad you all like this book so far :)

  
  


Mikasa stormed through the hospital doors, slamming them open so hard that she’s sure that one of them unhinged from the wall and fell to the floor. 

_ Where is he? _

_ He has to be here.  _

Doctors, nurses, and visitors watched her with mouths agape and eyes wide as she trudged through the halls. She was still strapped in her gear, not having changed out of it since the battle three days ago. She’s been too busy, only managing to sleep for a couple hours. 

She was running adrenaline and the thought of  _ where is he, where is he, where is he?  _ Consumed her mind. 

Mikasa had her blades in her hands and she heard someone shout at her but she didn’t give a shit. She rounded the corner and finally saw the woman she was looking for. Doctor Hange Zoe. “Hange!”

Doctor Hange Zoe turned when she heard Mikasa’s voice and she frowned when she saw her best friend's younger sister. “Hey kiddo, what’s got cha angry?”

“He’s M.I.A.”

Hange raised a brow, “who?”

“Levi. He’s missing. He’s not accounted for anywhere.”

The look on Hange’s face was impossible to read, she always had a habit of hiding her emotions. Mikasa didn’t have time to dwell on Hange’s feelings, she was raging and she needed to find him. She had to find him. No one else she loves can die.

“Kiddo, I’m worried about him too but I’m gonna need you to calm down before you threaten every doctor in here,” Hange ordered, “drop your weapons and walk with me, you’ll get nowhere coming after me with those if I give you answers you don’t like. I’m booked but I can spare a couple minutes.”

Just as ordered, Mikasa put her blades away and walked side by side with Hange down the halls of the hospital “The last time I saw him was when I led my squad outside the wall and then we drifted apart. No one had seen him since.”

“His squad said the last time they saw him was when they invaded the forest that the bombers were located at,” Hange explained, “and Erwin is finally awake so maybe he has some intel.”

Mikasa’s heart skipped a beat, “he’s alive?”

_ No way. _

She looked up to Erwin, everyone did. While he was Levi’s best friend he was a role model to her as well. 

Well, Erwin was a role model to everyone to be fair. 

But only deep down did she and Levi know he was a selfish bastard at times. 

“I worked on the idiot for hours but yes, he’s alive.”

She walked faster and Hange opened the door to one of the rooms, allowing her to go inside. Mikasa walked right in and pulled the curtain back and she gasped. 

Ocean blue eyes looked up at her from the bed, “my first visitor, I’m honored.”

His shoulder and chest were bandaged up and his wrist was in a brace. He had a wicked scar on his right temple but other than those wounds.. He seemed fine. He was alive. He was breathing. 

_ Thank fucking god.  _

“Erwin,” she moved her gear out of the way and leaned down hugging him gently. “I thought you were dead. I thought I saw you die.”

He wrapped his free arm around her and shook his head, looking up to her when she pulled away. “You think a bullet could kill me? There’s a reason why we have those bulletproof vests.”

A frown crossed Mikasa’s face as she sat down on the bed, “Levi is missing.”

“What?” Erwin would have sat up all the way in shock but his entire arm prevented him from doing that. “How is he missing? What about his-”

Mikasa watched as Erwins expression changed and she braced her hands on her knees and stared at him in the eyes. “What happened to my brother? You know something. It’s better to tell me rather than Mom or Kenny.”

“I was shot down on my horse by Zeke,” Erwin started and he touched his side with his free arm. “I was about to shoot a thunderspear but last minute, right after I passed out I shot it but I missed..”

_ Levi launched his gear.  _

_ The same time he launched the thunder spear at Zeke.  _

_ He just wanted to kill the bastard.  _

She shook her head in disbelief. “No.. you didn’t..”

He looked down, “I shot him down, broke his wire and I saw him crashland into the ground. The last thing I saw before I passed out was him landing unconscious in enemy territory.”

Mikasa gasped, “no…”

_ Levi’s face had contorted in fear. There was no way to deflect that attack.  _

_ Erwin caused that.  _

_ He’s never seen Levi show fear before, and he had been the one to cause it.  _

_ He will never get that look in his eyes out of his mind. _

“No,” Mikasa stood up, “no. He made it out alive, Erwin.”

“I don’t know, Mikasa. That type of landing and being hit by a thunder spear.. Ackerman’s aren’t immortal, I could hear his landing over the cannons.” Erwin fisted his hospital gown in frustration. “I debated on shooting that spear and I made the wrong choice. I could have cost Levi his life.”

_ What kind of future commander am I if I accidentally kill my own people when I’m blinded by my own selfish desire? _

“But we cleared out that forest,” Hange spoke up, Mikasa forgot she was even here. “There were plenty of bodies of Marleyan soldiers but we didn’t find Levi, if we did he would have checked in with me. We asked his squad and the last they heard of him was the order he gave them to split into different quadrants of the forest.”

Erwin looked up at her, “I don’t doubt our military, but are there any areas we missed?”

There’s gotta be  _ something. _

Did Kuchel and Kenny know anything?

Hange shook her head, “no, Pixis was thorough when the military police assisted him and the legion on their search.”

Mikasa felt anger rise within her stomach and she had to swallow it down before she lost her mind in this hospital room. Her brother was the only one in her family that she could stand anymore. She loves her mother, she does, but they butted heads a lot when it came to their beliefs. 

Opposite of Kuchel, Levi just didn’t care about anything besides that he wanted peace and to be alone and it’s what Mikasa wanted as well. She wanted this war to end and she doesn’t care who started it. She doesn’t care how it ends, as long as it ends. 

When their dad passed in the war and Kuchel became a mess Levi was the one who took over the provider in the home, and they were together all the time. Levi took her everywhere. When Kuchel kicked herself in the ass she joined them as well. 

Both her and Levi weren’t affected by their dads death, they barely had a relationship anyway. He treated Kuchel like shit.

She could lose anyone but when it came to Levi and or her boyfriend Jean, if she lost one of those two then her mental stability would run away and never return. She would go insane. Mikasa had attachment issues when it came to her brother, but Jean was her host. Losing him would be the end of her. 

“He’s out there somewhere,” she said, “he isn’t dead, I refuse to believe that. We just missed him, maybe he’s making his way back.”

Hange looked at her with sad eyes, “honey..”

The raven turned around and went to leave, looking over his shoulder. “It’s not true. I’m going to find him. I’m going to bring him back.”

“Mikasa-”

She slammed the door.

  
  
  


_

  
  
  


Eren woke up hours later to the sound of something scraping against metal and he cringed, a shiver running up his spine as the sound traveled through his ears. 

The first thing he realized was that his left shoulder was in pain, it went from his shoulder down all the way to his left arm. It didn’t feel like pins and needles, he would rather have that. It felt as though it travelled in a single line all the way down. Did he pinch a nerve?

The wound was cleaned and bandaged now, and his arm was resting on a pillow to keep it elevated. It wasn’t the best medical work Eren had seen but he knew for a fact that it had to be Levi who had done it. He’s been around no one else. 

His fucking uniform was ripped too, fuck. It was brand new.

On top of him was a warm green cloth and- oh, the wings of freedom crest was laid on top of it. Levi’s now dried cape was covering him, well, the top half of him, mainly his shoulders. 

Why the hell did Levi cover him?

To keep him warm?

He remembers what happened before he passed out, the last thing he saw was Levi standing up and walking away. He didn’t know what he said, but he could see Levi’s lips moving. He remembers thunder and the rain hitting his face. 

Shot. Eren was shot. They were escaping and Eren was shot by one of the soldiers. 

And Levi killed all of those soldiers all by himself. 

Eren should honestly just stop being surprised at this point. That was the second time he’s seen Levi in action and it never ceases to amaze him how fast Levi can go from bickering nonstop with an attitude to a stoic captain and kill everything in his path. 

He now knew that Levi wasn’t destructive, he was protective. 

It was like the man had been on autopilot.

Damn, what was his life coming too? He was really here, next to the feared captain Levi Ackerman that his brother had been trying to kill for the longest time, and they were depending on each other. Ever since that cellar they depended on each other to stay alive. 

He depended on  _ Levi fucking Ackerman.  _

What a fucking joke. 

Following the screeching sound, his eyes trailed over to what looked like a kitchen in the place they were holed up in. Their equipment rested on a table and sitting at the chair was Levi, who was still in his uniform and sharpening all of his blades he unhinged from his gear. 

Eren raised a brow.  _ His blades aren’t actually… full blades? What? _

They were rectangular sheets of metal that could be replenished and Eren paled. No wonder those weapons were dangerous. They didn’t dull like regular swords, they could use as many slices of metal as they wanted and his weapons wouldn’t dull.

Why was he sharpening them?

A thought crossed his mind. 

He was probably bored.  _ How long have I been sleeping? _

He observed Levi’s actions. In his right hand held one of his blades and his left hand held another chunk of sharpening steel- Eren has seen it before- and he scraped it along the material of the blade. Sometimes it collected sparks, other times it was a pathetic screeching sound.

The man was tense, eyes focused on his weapons like he was doing it for a purpose. Like it was something he needed to do even though Eren knew for a fact that they were already sharpened.

One thing he knew was that Levi had patched him up, carried him to wherever they were at, and covered him with his cape. 

Speaking of where they were at…

Eren went to sit up to observe his surroundings but a pained grunt escaped his throat nonconsensually and he saw Levi look up from his swords with his dull eyes. 

“How’s your shoulder?”

He laid back down and rubbed at his wound over the bandages, “it fucking hurts.”

“Yeah.. couldn’t find any pain meds so you’re out of luck on that end,” Levi said, setting the sharpening steel on the wooden table. “Barely found enough bandages and cleaning supplies to clean you up, so looks like you’re gonna have to deal with those for a while.”

_ Why did you give me your cape? _

Eren looked up to the ceiling and tried not to focus on the throbbing of his shoulder. “How long was I asleep?”

“Fuck if I know,” Levi said, “it’s not like there’s a clock out here in the middle of the fucking forest.”

Okay, so a long time. 

“Great,” he closed his eyes and sighed,  _ how much worse could this situation get? _

He just wanted to fucking go home. 

Is that too much to ask?

In silence, he watched as Levi stood up and went into the kitchen. He had grabbed something from inside a cabinet and turned, approaching Eren.

No matter if they are depending on each other, seeing the man who murdered his father walk up to him sent shivers down his spine. Even though all Levi was doing was bringing him what smelled like food, it still raised the hairs on the back of Eren’s neck. 

If Levi sensed how nervous he was he didn’t give two shits, which is exactly what Eren would expect, he just set the bowl of… soup on the table. 

Wait- soup?

Eren slowly sat up, holding his shoulder. The cape fell to his lap as he propped pillows behind his back to help him sit up. He felt the pain run down his arm again, “fucking hell,” he whispered. 

“Go ahead and eat up, if you throw up then you’re fucking cleaning it up.” He looked down at him and tilted his nose up, “I didn’t build this piece of shit just for food to be spilled on the floor.”

_ You built this thing? _

_ What the fuck else can you do? _

“Wow, you have other talents than killing people’s families?” Eren bit, the fight returning to him after grabbing the bowl of soup and having a couple bites. 

Levi looked like he wanted to say something. Those eyes held so many secrets that Eren hated that he wanted to know. He wanted to know Levi’s weakness too, just like those soldiers. He wanted to be the one that caused Levi’s downfall. He wanted to slide a blade through his throat and watch him bleed and choke the same way his dad did.

He turned around and walked back to where he was sitting at the table, “be careful, Yeager. I’m the only reason that you’re alive.”

_ You didn’t have to save me.  _

_ Who says I even want to be saved? _

Now that he thought about it, why should he have been saved? He’s heard words from his family about how he would never amount to Zeke’s skills. He was always behind his brother in everything, his dad wasn’t proud of him.

If Grisha was alive right now and carried on the mental abuse he gave to Eren, the brunette doesn’t know where he would be. 

Was his dad being dead not only an advantage to Levi, but a relief to him too?

He wouldn’t reveal that information to anyone though, he wouldn’t speak bad about his dead father. No matter how horrible Grisha treated him, he couldn’t piss on his grave.

The soup wasn’t half bad, he finished it faster than he thought it would and he sighed in relief when the pain in his stomach was mostly relieved. It’s been days since he’s eaten anything and although it was mainly broth, it works. He’ll make it work. 

It’s not like they had all the resources in the world right now. 

He was in a cabin in the woods with the enemy. 

Someone he wanted to kill. 

What the fuck, he’ll never get over that.

He came back to reality when he saw Levi grab the needle with the serum in it and played with the bottom, looking down at it curiously, squirting some out and stepping back when it hit the floor. “Tch, what the hell” he said and went to unscrew the top of the glass tube. “What even is this shit?”

“Aren’t you, I don’t know, scared of opening something that could possibly kill you?” Eren questioned, leaning back against the pillows. “Are you that stupid?”

Levi gave him a deadpan look, “it’s already flowing through my veins, what’s the worst that could happen if I smell it?”

Eren shrugged, “drop dead on the floor, hopefully.”

“How lovely, thanks for being concerned about my well-being.”

“I’m not concerned about your fucking well-being, you asshole.”

A smirk and a reply of, “doesn’t sound like that to me,” and the cap to the serum was open. Levi had leaned in to smell it and crinkled his nose in disgust, “fuck.”

Eren rolled his eyes, “I told you, dumbass. Why would you open it?”

“Because I want to know more about this gross looking shit that I basically overdosed on in that cellar, do you know how many needle marks are on my neck?” Levi glared at him and Eren almost shied away, but he didn’t. 

He didn’t want to shy away anymore. 

“I’ve been poked and prodded for a stupid experiment like a fucking rat, so until you are, then shut the fuck up.” Levi snapped and he looked back down at the liquid, raising his other hand up and Eren internally groaned.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually going to touch it-”

“Fucking shit!”

“ _ And _ you touched it.”

But it wasn’t Levi’s finger that was in pain, Eren saw him hold the tube and with his free arm he covered his eyes because he had gotten too close to it, he leaned in too close. But he pulled away fast enough to where it didn’t affect him that much. Now Eren was intrigued, did the drug not need to be injected for it to affect him? 

Levi uncovered his eyes and they were completely bloodshot, “that's- that’s fucking awful. It felt like mace.”

“Should have injected the rest, save me the trouble of killing you.”

“Hm,” Levi screwed the cap back on the tube and set it on the table, rubbing at his eyes. “You’re so sweet Yeager, really. Next thing I know you’ll bring me flowers.”

Eren snapped, “I can’t fucking believe you. You murder my dad in cold blood and now you’re standing here trying to have a conversation with me? What is your angle here?”

All Levi did was click his tongue, “you really won’t give up on this shit, will ya?”

He removed the cape from his lap and set it on the table despite how much his shoulder was killing him, “how could I  _ give up  _ on something like this? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Watching someone kill your father and then being stuck depending on them years later? And the fucking guy doesn’t give a shit about-”

“Look, Eren, I would love to sit here and argue with you again but I just don’t want too.” Levi took his hand away from his eyes and went to the kitchen, taking off his gloves and turned on a faucet to wash the chemicals of his hands. 

Eren sat there shocked, eyes narrowing to form a glare and he pursed his lips, jaw tensing. 

He couldn’t fucking believe this guy.

“Besides,” Levi continued, “we’re not that far from the coast, so you’ll be home in no time. So suck it up buttercup, we’ll head out when your shoulder is a little better.” He turned the faucet and dried his hands. 

_ Suck it up buttercup.  _

_ Shut the fuck up.  _

“My people have killed your people, murdered them, slaughtered them, cut them, experimented on them.” Eren said stone cold, “and you’re speaking to me like I’m another civilian on the street.”

_ Don’t rile him up. _

_ Why are you trying too? _

Levi sat back down to where his blades were and grabbed his sharpening steel once more, not bothering to look in Eren’s direction. “Because you  _ are  _ another civilian on the street, don’t you understand that?”

_ He wanted a reaction.  _

_ He wanted a fight.  _

_ He wanted another reason to justify murdering someone in cold blood.  _

“How do I know you won’t kill me?”

“No offense Eren, but if I wanted to kill you, I would have killed you in that cellar.”

_ Well.. that was kind of true.  _

That scraping against metal sound that was almost as bad as nails on a chalkboard echoed in the cabin, making Eren cringe. “If you’re trying to get into an argument with me, it’s not going to work. I don’t care enough.”

Eren swung his legs over the couch and groaned in pain, squeezing his eyes shut and grabbing at his shoulder. “Shit..”

“If you’re thinking you can just walk around after a wound like that you better think twice, don’t want to go home to your perfect little family in shambles.” Levi hummed and looked at Eren with dark, teasing eyes.

Eren wanted to gouge them out. 

“Maybe they’ll welcome you with open arms when you tell them you’ve been besties with an Ackerman for a couple days. Call it a…” Levi twisted the sharpening tool between his pointer fingers, “romantic getaway?”

“What is you fucking angle here, Levi?!” Eren shouted, “are you trying to get inside my fucking head? We’re not friends. We’re not teammates. We’re not fucking allies. After I get home and relay your stupid message that you want revenge on my brother, the next time I see you I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Silver eyes stared up at him, bored but… interested.

“I want you fucking dead and I want to be the one to do it,” Eren glared and fisted his hands in his pants. “The way you killed my father, I want to do it to you but slower. I’ve hated you for eleven years, you’re the reason why I joined the fucking miitary, and it was fucking hell. And for what? A fucking joke is what this is.”

He ran a hand through his hair with his good arm, he wishes he had his gun. He doesn’t want to need Levi here. “I want to watch you bleed. I want to kill you with your own weapon. I want to see you afraid, Levi. I hate you down to my core and you’re just sitting there, looking like you have no intention to kill me. Why is that, huh?” his head snapped up to look at the captain. “Trying to suck up to me so I’ll tell you shit?”

“I like this side of you, got some fire and determination right there.” Levi chuckled, “you’re awfully talkative today, brat.”

_ The fucking nerve.  _

“Just answer my fucking question.”

The captain leaned back in his chair and nonchalantly toyed with one of his blades he finished sharpening. “I told you before, kid. I don’t fucking care about any of this. You got people who are driven by war, revenge, all that bullshit. They want to kill the person who killed their loved one, like you.” He pointed the knife towards Eren, “people like you are the reason this war is still driven.”

“You’re an Ackerman, you’re meant to fight.”

“You’re people would know, you invented us.”

“Well-”

_ Wait.  _

_ Invented? _

_ What did he mean by that? _

“Invented?”

Levi raised a brow, “oh god, don’t tell me you’re that stupid.”

Eren shook his head, “you’re a bi-product. You were created, not invented.”

“Your people invented us, we’re not some bi-product on your people if that’s what you’re thinking. You really don’t know shit, do you?”

_ Apparently, he doesn’t. _

“What are you talking about?”

Levi tightened his grip on the knife, “we weren’t created, we’re not a stupid artifact that had been brought to life. We were once pure edlians, just living our lives on our shared land when some of your stupid scientists were desperate to invent stronger soldiers.” He looked out the window as the rain let up. “We are a bi-product, chemicals run through my body. But by mistake you gave us something that we use to our advantage, it’s our weakness too. But there’s only a handful of us left so...”

Eren shook his head, “are you really telling me this shit?”

“It’s nothing your people don’t already know. Nah,” the captain looked at his blade and put the tip of it on the table and spun it around like he was bored out of his mind. It angered Eren even more. “Maybe I’ll tell you more, maybe I won’t. But I bet your family would love to get their filthy hands on me and dissect me like the pigs they are.”

He paused. “My… my family?”

_ What did my family have to do with this? _

“Huh? Oh,  _ ohhh _ ….” Levi tossed his head back and chuckled, looking up at the ceiling. “Oh my fucking God. Eren, you are like free comedy entertainment.”

Eren shook his head and finally mustered up the strength to stand up. He couldn’t stand up straight and he held his shoulder with one arm, but he stood on wobbly legs. He was up. “What are you talking about?”

“Ready for your heart to break again, Yeager?”

His jaw tensed. “Go on.”

Levi hummed and closed his eyes, “you’re family is the one who invented us. Why do you think your dad was experimenting?”  _ What? No, no way.  _ “Your great grandparents or whoever the fuck invented us out of pure eldian blood. Pumped us with steroids or whatever the fuck, I don’t know all the technical terms and what not- if I’m honest I’m still trying to wrap my head around how I killed your dad without even knowing who he _ was _ ” he waved his hand dismisivley, “you know, it kinda amazes me how little you know about your own family. Kinda sad too. You must feel real shitty.”

_ We couldn’t have done that.  _

_ We couldn’t have started all of this.  _

Eren slowly made his way to the table to his gear, he had a limp he just couldn’t avoid, “you’re lying to me. If my family did invent you, your people turned on us and killed people. You started this civil war.”

Is he really in denial?

“This isn’t no civil war kid, call this a world war.”

Eren finally paused at that, taking a glance at the raven. “What do you mean by that?”

“You really think we eliminated your enemy a century ago?” Levi stood up and cracked his back, “we teamed up with them, they gave us resources and we planned to turn on you for years. Once your people never changed and killed my people, we came over here to Paradis and built these walls.” He stretched his arms, “Well- your common enemy helped us build these walls. We didn’t riot your country until we were told the walls were done being made.”

Why was Levi just… babbling all of this to him? 

And did Eren really believe everything he was saying? 

He’s been right about everything so far. 

_ Dammit.  _

“I…” Eren didn’t really know what to say. He wasn’t exactly there all those years ago to see what had happened. It’s not like he’s seen anything but neither was Levi. “How do you know all of this? How are you so sure?”

“Because it’s all in my head,” Levi said, looking up at Eren with a conflicted frown on his face, tapping his temple with two fingers. “Your family already knows this shit. But we’re strong because we inherit our strength from our ancestors. Not only that, but sometimes memories stay because of the chemicals. Who knows, maybe your family has some secret power no one knows about. I don’t know shit, really. I just go off of my dreams and stories.” 

_ Whatever these dreams and stories are, they’re all adding up.  _

Eren ran a hand through his hair stressfully, “is everything you’re saying the truth right now?”

Levi grabbed a pot from a cabinet and filled it with water, “why would I have any reason to lie to you? I don’t give a shit about what you know. Everyone in your family knows but to cover up their mistake they lied to everyone.”

_ Revenge.  _

“Everybody is running off of revenge, that’s why the war is still going on.”

“Now you’re starting to get it,” Levi commented and heated up the pot of water on a stand by the fireplace without a care in the world. Did Levi really not care? “Have you noticed that my people have never attacked since the raid? You always attack first. We only fight, kill, slaughter when we’re forced too.”

Eren pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache coming on. He can’t believe all of this shit. Is this why his mother didn’t want him going? Because he may find out the truth? Because she knew of the experiment? 

He’s always wondered why his mother wasn’t shocked when he told her that dad had been murdered. And when he told her the description of the man who did it she looked even less surprised. She told Eren she would take care of it and he never saw her cry once. Not even at the funeral. Never. 

Back then he knew something was wrong but he never questioned it. He’s always asked question after question and maybe his mother thought he was too smart and too hot headed to handle the information. 

That’s what his dad has always told him at least.

He saw Levi rub at his eyes and stifle a yawn as he brought out a case of leaves and two mugs over to the fire. How long had they been here? Has Levi even slept?

Were his people really the reason why the war was still going on?

Was every piece of information coming from Levi’s mouth something he’s never heard before?

How come he’s hearing the secrets from the enemy for the first time instead of his family?

“You look like you’re going to shit your pants. Better clean it up if you do.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Hm, but if I did you wouldn’t know about your piss poor family.” Levi poured the lavender smelling liquid into the two mugs and set the pot back on the stand. He mixed them with a spoon before offering one to Eren. “Here.”

“How are you so calm about all this shit that you make fucking tea of all things,” Eren took the mug and gave Levi a weird look when the man picked it up by the rim and took a dirnk. 

“I've been a soldier since I was a kid, Eren. There comes a time where you’re too worn out. We’re all drunk on something.”

“If you don’t care then why do you want to kill Zeke?” He wondered, keping his face deadpan. He knew why though, Zeke killed someone close to him, but  _ who _ ?

And why did he want to know so bad?

Levi shut down then, standing up and walking back to the table to finish what he was doing with his blades, making sure he was aiming it at the brunette when he sheathed another blade.

He never gave Eren an answer. 

  
  
  
  
  


_

  
  
  
  


Mikasa saddled up her horse in the middle of the night later that day and checked how much gas she had, and then to see if she had extra blades. Her thunder spears were locked onto her forearms and she tucked her scarf away in the collar of her uniform. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she had her cape on, covering the bag of supplies she was carrying on her back. 

If her brother really was out there, there had to be a reason why he hasn’t returned. He had to be horribly injured.

_ Not dead.  _

_ Not dead.  _

_ Not dead.  _

Mikasa jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she spun around to see that it was only Jean, who put his hands up in defense. She frowned and shoved at his shoulder, “don’t do that.”

Jean watched her turn back around and step into the stirrup, sitting on top of her horse. “You’re really sneaking out of here to look for him, huh?”

“He respects you, you know. It would be nice if you respect him too.”

“I never said I didn’t,” Jean shook his head and pet the mane of Mikasa’s horse. “Can I come with you?”

She looked down at him, “you want too?

“Anything for you,” Jean said, “let me get my horse and I’ll ride out with you. I really don’t want you going out there alone, I’ll be worried sick.”

Staying to his word, Jean saddled up his horse and grabbed any supplies he thought he would need and put on his cape, making sure the hood was covering his face. They always needed their hoods beyond the walls. It was an order so soldiers couldn’t tell the difference between the enhanced Ackermans and the regular eldians. 

With the help of Armin, who scolded them saying that they shouldn’t be doing this but he would keep it a secret. Jean and Mikasa thanked him and when the door opened they slid out unseen, the door shut behind him and Mikasa looked up at the dark clouds that littered the sky.

“What if it’s too dark to see him?” Jean questioned.

“I don’t care,” she looked over at him, “we have a lot of land to cover, are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Let’s go.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eren is finding out a lot isnt he? first he finds out his dad experimented on children, and then he finds out his family invented levis bloodline and later used them for basically free labor. crazy, huh? he really doesnt have a clue about what his family has done but... why doesnt he?
> 
> thank you so much for reading, writing these two bickering is honestly kind of fun. but it wont be long until their banter goes too far. 
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter - cj


	6. i cant decide whether you should live or die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t want to make me angry.”
> 
> “Oh but I do,” Eren leaned in closer, challenging him. He hummed with a smirk, raising a brow, making sure he was towering over the captain with, using his height to his advantage. “You can’t hurt me more than you already have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little recap- eren basically found out he's been lied too his entire life. 
> 
> enjoy :)
> 
> i have changed the ackerbond rule thingy, it just doesnt have to be a bond with someone who takes charge, thats all. 
> 
> also - i stan mikasa x jean together, ngl.

**A day later.**

  
  


“I can’t believe we haven’t found anything that leads to where he is,” Jean spoke while him and MIkasa sat upon their horses. They were walking at a fair speed, not really in a rush. “You would think that something would show up by now. At this rate we’ll be out here for days.”

Mikasa was constantly looking in all directions to try and find something. Even if Levi turned out to be dead, they had to bring his body back. She needed to bring some part of him home, but she hopes it was all of him with a beating heart. 

Jean looked over at his girlfriend, who hasn’t spoken much since they’ve left the walls. They left in the middle of the night yesterday and now, after taking a short nap, it was about an hour or so until the sun rose into the sky and they finally had more light to make the search easier. 

He knew how attached she could get to people after losing so many people before. He also knew about the status of people of her bloodline, there were only a handful of them left and they were going extinct. If only they could figure out how to make more rather than rely on repopulation the natural way. 

Not only would it benefit the military, it could give the remaining few a sense of a family and heritage to bond over. Mikasa told him about how she changed- her spark- as she called it since there were no other words she could describe it as. 

It happened years ago, they had been friends since they were in diapers with a couple others like Armin, Sasha, Connie and some others. It was the first battle her and Jean rode into and they were on the same squad. 

Someone, a Marleyan soldier, had gotten the best of Jean and right before a sword was aiming for his heart, Mikasa had come rushing in like a stoic animal that was fierce and quick. She had snapped his neck without hesitation and the look in her eyes changed that day. 

When whatever it was that happened, she changed. She was faster, stronger, more sharp. He watched her slaughter soldiers with those blades of hers, for a second he thought she outmatched Levi. Almost.

Through the battle all those years ago Mikasa ended up getting close to Levi on that battlefield and they had become an unbeatable team. They were monsters when they needed to be, it was like an unspoken code between the two of them. They would share one glance and make their next move, fighting back to back, using their ODM gear and moving faster than light. 

Jean had heard of the stories and when they came back to the walls he had visited Levi and Mikasa at HQ. He asked Mikasa what had changed out there and when she said she didn’t know, Levi explained to them what had happened. 

He called it a spark. It was where it felt like lightning would course through your brains and you saw the world in a more clear lighting. He said that your heart picked up the pace and your reflexes became faster, you felt stronger, and Mikasa had agreed. That was when he dropped the bomb that what she had gone through, she gained the strength of every Ackerman before her.

Related to the spark came the reason for it. They were told by not only Levi, but Hange and Kenny, that it activated because someone she loved had been in danger. That a bond had formed unintentionally because she saw Jean as someone she could depend, rely, and trust. And not to mention- she loved him before the spark even happened. 

Jean asked Levi if he'd ever felt it and when the raven shook his head no Jean stared at him in shock. Levi was already behind Kenny, the strongest Ackerman currently alive, in strength and his awakening or spark or whatever it was hadn’t happened yet? 

Hange had answered and said that Levi hadn’t bonded with anyone at that level at that time. And Levi replied that he hopes he never does, because although it made them stronger, it was a weakness. He was the only Ackerman who hadn't awakened.

Yes, Levi had close friends and he wanted to protect all of them no matter what, but for some reason, he hadn’t had his awakening yet. Jean had dropped the subject then. 

Because if their person they were bonded with would pass away, their enhanced strength would slowly fade away into where they were before. They wouldn’t be as strong because the depression would set in, they had no one to fight for. They wouldn’t find someone else to follow. 

They were made to be slaves and even though they had gained their freedom in Paradis, they would always have the side effects that would eventually kill them if they didn’t find something to fight for. They had to move with purpose.

Since that day, Jean had been attached to Mikasa and they were together all the time. They’ve been together for years and were both squad leaders now since they both climbed up the ranks. 

“I don’t know where else to go besides forward,” Mikasa had finally replied, “even a small part, a weapon of his, something. Something has to be out here to tell us where he is. If he’s not dead or injured, we have to assume he was taken by the enemy.”

Taken.

The word hung heavy between the two of them, “if the Yeagers get their hands on him then if what Erwin said was true, it might be the end for all of us.”

Mikasa shook her head, her bangs falling in her face. “If they somehow got him back to Marley then that would be the end of it, probably. Commander Pixis might be able to lead us to Marley but the higher ups may not permit it, it would risk our safety.”

Jean groaned, “all of this is so fucked up, first Isabel and Furlan and now this shit?”

“I won’t let Levi’s last thoughts be that he failed Erwin on the battlefield,” she gritted her teeth, “the forest they went into, we have to go there. That’s where he was last seen according to Erwin.”

“Let's hope for the best.”

Mikasa looked down.

_ Please be alive.  _

  
  
  
  


_

  
  
  
  


“Fuck! Can’t you be anymore careful?”

“Just stay still and let me do this shit.”

Eren slammed the back of his head against the couch again and gritted his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut in pain as Levi tended to his would. The blood stained the bandage and Levi had to get it off while it was stuck and put on fresh bandages. Eren had no idea how to do first aid so he was stuck at the man's mercy if he didn’t want to risk infection. 

The two of them had been together for four days straight now. Two days in the cellar and two in the cabin, they were now keeping track of days by the sun rising and falling. Levi had been carving it all into the table in tallies with his knife he kept in his boot that he preferred to use rather than his swords. Why though, Eren wouldn’t ever understand. 

“It fucking hurts,” Eren said as he felt Levi rip the bandages off without any mercy.

“Stop being a little bitch, this shit is a flesh wound,” Levi mumbled and he finally ripped all of the bandages off, tossing them onto the coffee table. “Besides, if you knew something so basic then you wouldn’t be useless when it came to the basic gunshot wound.”

“I got shot right above my heart, asshole.” Eren said, peeking up at Levi through his bangs. They had fallen into his face and stuck there by his sweat. He had broken a fever a little bit ago.  _ Flesh wound, my ass.  _

Just his fucking luck. 

Now they had to stay here longer than expected because he was in even more pain than before.

His life couldn’t get any worse. 

The next thing he knew there was something layered on top of his wound and he relaxed as it numbed it, a cooling feeling washing over it and then he felt Levi rewrap it with fresh bandages.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he carefully applied the bandages to Erens shoulder, “we caught it early, this shit should do the job. Your fever should break within the next twenty four hours at the longest.”

Eren groaned, “fuck, of course it is.”

This is shit. 

Levi had stood and went to the kitchen without looking back and turned the faucet on, washing all of Eren’s blood off of his hands.

He did that to Grisha, just washed the blood from his hands like it meant nothing. 

Eren put a hand over his injured shoulder and let out a conflicted sigh, closing his eyes and getting lost in his thoughts while he listened to the sound of the water from the silver fountain. 

Staying here was not his plan. Being in that cellar was not the plan, he still can barely remember how he even got in there. He remembers the battlefield, he remembers leaving Annie to find his commander. He was hit in the head soon after seeing that stupid thunder spear in the tree. After they escaped Eren thought he would be home right now, or at least to the Paradis coast but no. They got ambushed and Eren was stupid enough to get shot because he couldn’t react fast enough. 

He didn’t have stupid Ackerman blood, he couldn’t move like them and he fucking hated it. Because of their difference in strength, Levi had been protecting him this whole time. 

He was so fucking tired of being protected, Eren wanted to be the protector for one time in his fucking life. He wasn’t weak, he just hasn’t peaked yet. He was twenty four, he should be able to handle his own but Levi had him outmatched. 

It wasn’t until he saw Levi in action for the first time that he realized how unprepared he was and how idiotic it was to think he could kill him single handedly. Eren didn’t want to admit it, but if they were to fight hand to hand without any weapons, Eren was sure he would be dead in a heartbeat. 

Back at the battlefield Eren had separated from Zeke because of an argument they were having and Annie had caught up to them, handing Eren his horse and offering to go with him to find Levi. They rode on the outside right flank of the field and got so close to the walls until they joined up with Reiner, and when he confessed to them that he was injured. Out of all people, Eren wouldn’t have thought Reiner would have been the one to get shot between them. 

He remembers vaguely about how he was taken. After him and Annie got separated he made his way back to the forest to where his commander was located. There was an explosion and a crash behind Zeke and all Eren saw was the blades of the enemy flying forward. He got curious and went to check out what it was but as soon as he arrived there in the area on horseback, he got down to walk over to the area of where the enemy had fallen on the ground. 

But the next thing he knew after that was a pain in his head and falling to the ground, the sound of his horse was the last thing he heard. 

It was one thing to imagine killing your enemy but it was another thing to actually do it. Eren had thought it was a regular eldian soldier, he could handle a regular one, he did on the field plenty of times during the battle. That’s why he thought he stood a chance. 

But now he realizes that he doesn’t unless he has a gun. 

Or the fucking serum his family made.

If his family really did invent the Ackerman bloodline from scratch then that means that if they could turn it into a bomb, into a mist and use their blimp to spray it from the air onto the battlefield then it would most certainly be over. His people would have their revenge and win the war.

But what if all the things Levi told him were true? About how his family invented them. How they used them as slaves. How they controlled them and in return the Ackermans defended themselves and saw no choice but to leave with the Eldians that helped them out. 

It was true that his father was experimenting on them but did his mother and Zeke know about it? They knew of the drug, but did they know dad was poisoning innocent children?

Eren watched Levi while he dried his hands and braced his hands on the counter and stared out the window with a pensive look on his face. Throughout the time that they’ve been there the two of them caved in disgust and wore the spare clothes that were kept here. 

And by spare clothes, it was a warrior uniform. Eren didn’t put on the silver straps but he did have on the black clothing and leather black boots while his clothes were drying on the rack in the bathroom. Levi had washed them and then changed into another set of uniform, except he didn’t have the straps on either. No cape, or bulletproof vest, just the long sleeve black shirt and pants and boots. 

It looked like the guy was deep in thought, judging by the way his brows drew together and his frown deepened. Eren could only imagine what he was thinking about. 

Was Levi thinking their situation was the same as Eren thought it was? Was he thinking about how he just wants to go home? Was he thinking about killing his brother to avenge his friend? Or the sister he brought up back at the cellar?

God, how he wishes he could know. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know Levi like that, and he hated himself to his core that he had a feeling he wanted too. He had to push it to the back of his head. 

He was supposed to kill Levi. That was his only mission. But Levi’s been nothing but caring despite the foul mouth and slurs towards him and eren hated it. He hated how Levi protected him in the cellar and during the ambush. And he also hated that he let Levi tend to his wounds because he didn’t know how. 

Levi had touched him with delicate hands when he would fix the bandages. He’s been cooking, making tea, washing their clothes without a care in the world. Half of the time he wouldn’t speak to Eren, he would just be in another one of the rooms.

Eren hasn’t seen the guy sleep yet, but he’s been with a fever so Eren had been sleeping for hours on end. He wondered what Levi did when he slept? Did he sleep? Does he talk to himself? Is there anything to even do here?

What does a heartless murderer do in his spare time?

Spending the last couple days with the captain made Eren see that even though he thought of Levi as cold and heartless, he was a nice guy through his actions rather than words. He came up with these sarcastic comments and pushed Eren to the brink of his anger so many times in the four days they’ve been together. 

Eren hated himself.

Why does he want to get to know Levi better?

Why does he want to know who Zeke killed to put Levi in an internal frenzy?

Why?

Why?

Why?

“Don’t think too hard, Yeager. Your brain may not be able to handle it.”

He came out of his thoughts and looked to see that Levi had perched himself on the counter, crossing his legs and leaning back on the cabinets. His hair had been pushed back out of his face, held back by sweat and grime collecting from being outside. 

“I bet you’d love to know what I was thinking about, wouldn’t you?” 

Levi gave him an amused glance, “yeah, because I care about the cute thoughts swarming in your pretty little head. Give it up, Yeager. Just admit you have a crush on me.”

“You are fucking impossible,” Eren sat up a bit, “I’m your enemy.”

“No matter how many times you say it, I will always tell you-”

“That there are no enemies here and you don’t give a shit, I know.” 

That made Levi click his tongue and lean his head back on the cabinets casually, looking up at the ceiling and closing his eyes. “Now you’re getting it. Growing some balls. Having a conversation with your fathers murderer. Watching you grieve and brood over that just makes my day. I’ll remember this forever.”

Eren winced as he sat up and leaned against the pillows, he was too dizzy to stand. “Do you even care that you killed him?”

Levi looked him in his eyes then, those eyes that had held so much knowledge and pain and power. It felt like he was staring into his soul. “No,” Levi flatly admitted, “not really. Not when your people killed my dad.”

“Your dads dead?” 

“Hm,” he snorted, “Eren, 90% of my family is dead. Your daddy issues do not compare.”

Is this guy even real?

How does he joke about this stuff so lightly?

He doesn’t even know Eren like that, Eren has his own issues so Levi can fuck off.

“Come on, Eren. How long are we gonna argue? I’m getting bored of it,” Levi pulled one knee onto the counter and rested his arm on it. He picked at his fingernails. “You keep saying the same thing over and over again and fuck, I hear ya.

“You killed my-”

“You know, from what I’m gathering by how angry you are, did you even  _ like  _ your dad?’ The captain asked, leaning his head to the side in question. “I mean- shit, after finding out what your dad did you really think that man’s a good guy? The truth is out, Yeager. You should take time to process that shit.”

He shut his mouth at Levi’s words and frowned. It had happened for years, the moment he was born. He had heard his parents talk about him when he was a kid, how Eren was a mistake because he wasn’t planned but his mother didn’t believe in abortion so she had him anyway.

The difference between his mother and father was that his mother loved him, his dad tried to make him into Zeke’s carbon copy but Eren was too strong willed to fall for his tricks. No, his dad never hit him but the mental abuse he endured….

Constantly being called not good enough, a mistake, a disgrace to their family because he never wanted to be a warrior. He’s heard it all, every word in the book. He remembers when, as a child, his parents forced him to do homework for hours until he got it perfect. 

Eren had no desire to become a warrior until he saw Levi murder his father, that was when everything changed.

He remembers when his dad would leave for awhile and not come back for days and when he asked his mother all she said was that he was at work. 

Eren was never told what he did as a career. 

Actually, he didn’t know until a couple days ago. 

“No,” he responded softly, looking down at the floor. “I don’t think I did.”

Levi hummed and eyed him closely, Eren knew the man was trying to read his body language. Eren was always bad at lying so there was no use in hiding it. “What did he do to you then?” He asked in a much more quiet voice.

A quiet voice did not suit this monster. 

“He was a piece of shit dad,” he admitted, “I never wanted to be a warrior and he resented me for it. You know, how shit dads do and all.”

Now Levi had shut his mouth and it made Eren look up to see the captain now looking out the window, his fist clenching and unclenching. 

Eren continued, taking advantage of someone who was listening. Even if it was the enemy. He would never see Levi again so what gives if he heard all of this? Not like he was going to tell anyone. He doubts the man will care at all.“They only kept me because my mother didn’t believe in abortion. They wanted me to be like Zeke but I never wanted to be.”

Levi’s jaw clenched.

“When dad found that out he had begun leaving a lot and- well no, now that I know, he left for his experiments.” Eren watched closely for any reaction from Levi and he got none. He picked at his fingernails for a moment, “all arguments aside, I’m sorry about Isabel and Furlan.”

“Don’t say their names,” Levi snapped, eye twitching and he still stared out the window. “Not you, keep their names out of your filthy mouth, you son of a bastard.”

Now he got a reaction again. Eren struggled to swing his legs over the couch and he held his head as it felt like he was spinning. 

“Lay the fuck back down, Yeager.”

“No.”

He felt Levi’s eyes on him as he used the couch as leverage to stand up on wobbly legs. He groaned softly, “my family hurt you personally. You’re not fighting for your people, you’re fighting to avenge the friends you’ve seen die first hand.”

Levi said nothing, but Eren saw him dig his nails into his fist.

Good. 

Get angry. 

“I’m right,” Eren held his shoulder as he finally straightened out his spine, standing up at his full height. “You’ve told me you don’t care about this war, but the only thing driving you right now is revenge for the friend you lost at the hands of my brother.”

“Shut up, filthy mutt,” Levi jumped off of the counter, silver eyes piercing into his own like a fire had ignited within him. “You don’t know shit about me, and you never will.”

Break him. 

Make him lower his guard. 

Then attack. 

He could find his way back on his own. 

“I don’t want to know shit about you, asshole.” Eren glared and he rolled his good shoulder. “What I’m getting at is that you’re not here because you’re forced to be. You want revenge, you’re just as bad as me.”

Levi crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his weight on one leg, raising an eyebrow in amusement but his eyes held anger he was holding in before it came out ten fold.

Eren stared right back, not backing down this time. He ignored the throbbing in his shoulder and stepped forward towards the table where the gear was, putting his hand on it to hold himself up since he felt himself getting more dizzy.

He glanced back at Levi, who was watching him warily. “You’re no better than my family.”

The raven gritted his teeth and drew his eyebrows together. 

Yes. 

Lose your mind. 

Put on that wicked smile like you did in the cellar. 

Unwravel yourself. 

“His name was Erwin Smith,” Levi said while kneeling down and reaching into his boot and grabbing his knife he always had. “He was my best friend. A stupid, selfish big-eyebrowed fool, but the best man I ever fucking knew.”

Eren saw the silver shine under the light in the cabin and while Levi was busy grabbing it, Eren grabbed the needle and shoved the small contraption in his back pocket before Levi stood up and looked back at him, the look in his eyes changing. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” A devious smirk on Levi’s face and the atmosphere in the room changed drastically before Eren could realize it. The captain twirled his knife between his fingers and started to slowly walk towards Eren.

Oh no. 

Oh shit. 

“Yeah, in line to be the next commander.” Levi said slowly, the look of hatred coming back in his eyes like it was when they were in that dark cellar. The first time Eren saw his eyes like that was out of fear and nothing has changed, that same feeling, he felt it again. No, he wasn’ scared. He couldn’t be. Not when Levi was getting closer and closer. “Fought hard to measure to my skill. And I have a lot of that.”

Could he do it?

Could he attack Levi and defend himself?

Eren took steps back while Levi took steps forward, his heart began to pound faster but he held it in. He kept his face where it had been- angry. He was angry that Levi thinks he can threaten him all he wants. 

Despite how nice the captain's actions were, there was no changing the monster that he really was. 

Eventually his back was pressed against the wall and Levi was only mere feet away from him, “I was his right hand man, I followed that man into battle without a second thought.”

“Sounds cliche to me,” Eren felt the needle against his back pocket as he leaned onto the wall, “riding off into battle with your best friend side by side, sounds-”

“We weren’t,” Levi’s eyes flickered and for a moment Eren could see the sadness beneath them.

Did he… 

Did he really feel bad for him?

No.

A realization came to mind and he smirked, “ah, you weren’t together, Zeke too fast for ya? You weren’t fast enough to make it?”

“You don’t want to make me angry.”

“Oh but I do,” Eren leaned in closer, challenging him. He hummed with a smirk, raising a brow, making sure he was towering over the captain with, using his height to his advantage. “You can’t hurt me more than you already have.”

In an instant, the knife Levi held in his left hand was now pressed against his neck and his head slammed into the wall behind him with the sheer force of the hit. A sting of pain went from his shoulder down his left arm and he couldn’t help the small “oof” that escaped him. 

The wall was cold and hard, reminding Eren of the cellar bars where they were held. He never wanted to think about it again but now he doesn’t think that he’ll ever forget.

The knife pressed a bit harder into his skin and he looked down at Levi, who had a sinister look on his face. Eyes wide with rage and mouth curved up into that wicked smirk. But instead of the guards- it was on him. 

Now Eren knows why they were so afraid. 

“You were there when I murdered your father,” Levi spat in his face, voice lowered. “I kill in cold blood. I don’t care who you are. I’ve killed my own people to get my way. And I will not hesitate to kill you.”

Eren remained silent and went to raise his hand to grab the knife but Levi was faster. The smaller man grabbed him with his right hand and slammed his wrist into the wall, holding it there. 

He tried to ignore the pain in his shoulder, it was his left arm. The bad one. 

Fuck.

Did he go too far?

“You’ve only seen a small portion of what I can do. I don’t care that I killed your father. Maybe I enjoyed it. Maybe I loved watching my blade go through his throat. And maybe I love it even more that you saw me do it. Maybe I knew you were there and I put a little show on for ya?”

His eyes widened and he tried to ignore the trembling of his hands. 

He knew Levi didn’t know he was there but shit, his threats sounded too real. 

No.

Don’t get scared.

Not of him. 

Levi kept going, pressing harder on Eren’s wrist and his eyes lit up when he saw Eren wince. “Maybe I’ll give Zeke a front row of watching you get killed. Maybe I’ll kill you here and ship your corpse back to Marley as a sentimental gift.”

But that would be idiotic and he knew that Levi knew that as well. 

These were all threats. 

Eren came back with, “or a reason for them to attack you again- ugh!” 

The blade was slowly sinking into his skin and he felt a smidge of blood run down his neck. 

Was Levi actually going to kill him?

“I could take you as a prisoner. Or I could kill you right here. But I know that Kenny would love to get his hands on one of you.” Levi chuckled at the sudden fear in Eren’s eyes. “No, he wouldn’t want you, you’re not smart enough.”

“What are you gonna do with me, huh? You patched me up, you could have killed me a while ago but you didn’t. What’s your game plan?”

“Ah? Game plan, hm.” Levi didn’t deter his gaze away from Eren’s eyes and the brunette hated it. He tried to look everywhere but at the captain but his eyes always connected with his no matter what. “Haven’t thought about that one. Erwin usually does that.”

Eren gulped. Erwin. The man Zeke killed. He was Levi’s best friend and superior all in one? Eren lost an abusive father, but three best friends? Wow. 

No wonder Levi was on the brink of insanity. 

The knife slid slightly and Eren winced, “Levi- stop.”

Raising a thin brow, Levi smiled with a bit of teeth this time and Eren felt his heart beat faster. This was the side of Levi that killed his dad. 

“You say I’m in this for revenge? You may be right. But it’s the only thing you’ve been right about since we’ve been stuck together.” Levi leaned in closer and Eren couldn’t even laugh at the fact that he was leaning on his tiptoes to get in Eren’s face. 

“Think about what you’re doing, Levi.” Eren felt his free hand shaking and he held it close to his side, right next to the serum in case he needed to use it. “You said you didn’t want to kill me-”

“Would you shut up for a second?” Levi snapped at him, “I don’t want to kill you but I will. You’ll just be another bloodstain on my hands that will be washed off and forgotten about.”

What happened to the man who tended his wounds?

Who was making him tea?

Was this the real side of Levi?

How did the man keep it hidden for as long as they’ve been stuck together?

“Would Erwin want you doing this?”

Okay.

Wrong question. 

Possibly the worst question to ask someone who had a knife to your throat. 

Levi’s smile disappeared and he frowned, “you know, probably not. Not to an innocent man. But Kenny? Oh yeah, my uncle will want a front row seat to watch me kill a descendant of the Yeager family.” He dug his nails into Eren’s wrist, enjoying how the man squeezed his eyes shut in pain and let out a pained noise. “Could put you to the streets. See where you end up.”

The pain in his shoulder was increasing every second and his arm felt stiff. Not only that, but the blade was pressed a centimeter into his knife and he could feel the sturdiness of Levi’s hands as he held the blade. He wasn’t shaking, but Eren wasn’t surprised. 

Like Levi had told him- Ackermans were made to kill.

But Eren… he felt for Levi no matter how much he hated him. 

Was Levi a slave to this war?

“Could bomb you like your people did to my father, even though he was a bastard. I honestly didn’t like the guy, who an ass to my mom. The bomb got him before I could kill him myself.” Levi continued, “your people pushed us, your people did this. Your people started this stupid fucking war and for what? If you would have treated us like actual  _ people _ ” -Levi spat in his face once more. Eren wished he could wipe his face. “Then maybe we would be on the same side. This war wouldn’t have fucking started.”

This was all because of his people. 

Marleyans were the reason for the war. 

All this time he was taught to hate the other side when in reality.. 

His own people were the devils of this world, not the Eldians. 

Eren… was he considered a bad guy?

A villain?

His right shoulder sagged, “I’m sorry.”

For once, Levi looked shocked but he didn’t move. “What?”

Eren couldn’t read the guy's mind, but he knew that somewhere, the rational part of Levi was listening. “About my people starting this war.. I had no idea until you told me.”

A conflicted look in Levi’s eyes told him everything he needed to know.

“You’re a victim in all of this,” Eren carried on and he felt the force of the knife loosen. “The reason why you never wanted this war was because your people were slaves. You were made for a purpose and when that purpose was fulfilled it seems as though my people didn’t know what to do with you anymore. They treated you as what you were made for, free labor.”

The grip on his wrist loosened as well. 

Slowly, he was letting his guard down. 

“You were an inconvenience to them and they used your strength and loyalty, at the time, to their advantage.” Eren was piecing everything together quickly and he was impressed with himself. But his main goal wasn’t that- his main goal was to catch Levi off guard and get the hell out of dodge. He had mentioned they were close to the coast. 

Use the serum on Levi and boom, one Ackerman down and he had a free ticket home. 

“We were loyal to you,” Levi eventually said with a shake of his head. “And you just.. slaughter us like we’re  _ nothing _ . We’re not monsters Eren.. we’re  _ people _ . Husbands, wives, mothers and fathers, children.. that’s all we are. We just wanted freedom and we can’t even have that without you breathing down our necks.”

Eren nodded and took a deep breath, releasing it through his nose. He felt bad for what his ancestors did, yeah, but Eren had his own personal vendetta. “I’m sorry about what I said about Erwin.”

Levi glanced up at Eren through hateful eyes, although they didn’t have the same fire in them as before. He was calming down. 

Surprisingly, Levi dropped his wrists and the knife from his neck and took a step back., and Eren let out a sigh of relief. “Your people are filthy, piss-poor bastards. Your father? He’s the worst of them all. So before you hate me for killing him- realize what would have happened if he were alive.” Levi twirled his knife and turned around, shaking his head and walking back to the table where their weapons were.

“What would have happened?” Eren questioned, “what do you mean?”

“He would have kidnapped more of my people and like I did the first time, I’ll sneak into your country and kill whoever I need to so I can get what I want.” Levi explained as he made it to the table, setting his knife down. “Or maybe you’d grow up to be as much of a bastard as your father.”

While Levi’s back was turned, Eren grabbed the needle that was in his pocket and took a step forward softly, unscrewing it and dabbing some onto the palm of his hand and then closed the needle, threading his fingers through the holes, ready to use it. “Once I leave, you get to go home to your family. I won’t go after you anymore.”

“Hardly believe that one,” Levi’s eyes grazed the table and he noticed something was missing. “You came here for me in the first place.” 

The serum.

“Hey where’s the-”

Levi was fast but not fast enough when his guard was down. With a grunt Eren raised the needle to stab into the back of Levi’s neck but he completely missed when Levi made a quick move and squatted down to the floor. The next thing Eren knew, he saw Levi kick his legs out and he fell to the ground on his back. 

The moment his back collided with the floor Levi was on top of him, foot to his chest and holding the needle in his hand.  _ When did he even swipe that?  _ He shook his head with a half smile, “you stupid, stupid boy.” 

Eren winced when Levi moved his foot to press on his wound, “Levi-”

“After all I’ve done for you…” He knelt down to get closer to Eren. “And to think, I thought we were becoming best friends.”

“You’re a monster, all of you are.” Eren glared, “ruthless monsters.”

“Maybe I am,” Levi shrugged and toyed with the needle. “But that doesn’t concern you. What does though? Whether you’re going to make it home or not.” He pointed the needle towards Eren, “Maybe it’s time to see if this works on Marleyans as well?”

Eren couldn’t wait any longer, he had to act now. While Levi observed the liquid and went to open it out of that dumbass curiosity of his, Eren grabbed his ankle. Levi didn’t falter, just a dirty smile as he grabbed Eren’s arm and pulled it back.

His hand was in a fist and Levi went to inject the serum, ready to end Eren’s life out of anger when the brunette caught him off guard. 

And… it worked this time. 

Eren watched as he threw the liquid in his hands towards Levi’s face, right at his eyes and maybe some got into his mouth. He didn’t know. But the moment the liquid hit him, Levi had dropped the needle and the only sound in the cabin was when the glass hit the wooden floor. 

He wanted to see what this drug did first hand if enough of it was injected into him. He had enough of the liquid squirted into his hand, a decent amount. If sniffling the liquid did damage to Levi earlier than this would hopefully do a lot more and save his ass. 

He felt the foot that was pressed against his chest let up. Levi got off of him, taking a couple steps back and rubbing at his eyes and mouth frantically, as if he was trying to get it off but both him and Eren knew it was too late.

Despite how much pain he was in, Eren lifted himself up onto his elbows to watch what was going to happen.

“You fucking-” Levi had lost his balance, falling down to his hands and knees. His eyes were screwed shut and moments later he had started panting. “Son of a bitch! Fuck!”

Oh god, was this it?

Was Levi dying right now?

Was Eren finally getting his revenge?

The brunette stood up and watched as Levi’s arms and legs began to tremble as if they weren’t strong enough to hold him up. Eren walked over to him and knelt down beside him, holding the needle he nabbed when it fell to the floor. 

“This whole time I’ve been wondering how to get you to shut up, you’ve been such a headache for me.” Eren chuckled to himself as he watched Levi try and stay awake. He had opened his eyes only a fraction to look up at Eren, eyes bloodshot and… fearful?

This is what he wanted.

He wanted to see this man scared. 

At his mercy. 

Like his father.

But why… Why was there an uneasy feeling in his stomach?

“You shithead…” He grunted and lost balance in his arms and legs, causing him to crash onto the floor onto his stomach. He tried to get up but Eren saw him fail. “Ah.. fuck, fuck..” He panted like a fucking dog, “I can’t.. No.. not now.”

Eren put the needle down on the floor and reached his hand towards the smaller man, putting it in his hair and observing the black locks. Every Ackerman had black hair then, weird. 

“Sleep, Levi. Stop trying to resist it. I won.”

He could see Levi’s body giving up on him.

This was supposed to be satisfying?

Why was it not?

Why was he feeling like this?

Eren gripped his hair and lifted Levi’s head up and the man winced, opening one eye and glaring at Eren with all the strength he could muster, which wasn’t much. “I wasn’t gonna kill.. You…”

Now those words surprised Eren, “huh?”

“Gonna send you home, it’s all I want to fucking do..” Levi winced and he panted harder, the drug was winning. “Gotta.. Do..”

Eren leaned in closer when Levi’s voice got quieter the closer he was to passing out. “Gotta do what?” 

“Something.. Good.. for once.”

Eren watched as the drug fully took over and the captain had passed out. His eyes had closed and his whole body went limp, breath low and steady. Eren let go of Levi’s hair gently and frowned when Levi’s head hit the floor. 

He eyed the needle, “looks like it works pretty well, then.”

Eren stood up and went to the table, setting it down and finally groaning as he held his shoulder as it throbbed. It’s been killing him this whole time and he knew for a fact that how much it’s been moved around he had to have bled through the bandages more than usual. 

After some debating he went back to the couch and took off his current bandages and put them onto the ground. He copied what Levi had done numerous times and applied the gel to the wound and then wrapped it, with some difficulty around his shoulder. 

“Fuck,” he gritted his teeth when he finally finished. It hurt a lot more when he did it himself, that’s for sure. 

He had to get home now, this was his chance. Although he wasn’t being held captive, Levi had them stay here because Eren broke out in a fever. He was done saying here with Levi’s stalling, at least that’s what it seemed to be. 

And who knew how long it would be until Levi’s people found them? Eren wound up being taken prisoner and possibly executed and he couldn’t have that. Not now when he knows all this information. He had to find out all the hidden secrets his family was keeping from him and only him it seemed. 

He couldn’t risk being taken as a prisoner. Not when he was so close to leaving this god forsaken island. He’s spent enough time here already. 

Eren stood back up and trudged to the back room where his original uniform was drying up and he changed into it, mindful of his shoulder that was numbed by the gel. He had to bend at weird angles to get it on and after what seemed like ever he finally cos the thing on. It was torn by his chest where Levi ripped it and it still had some blood stains on it but other than that and the dirt stains, it was good enough to get him home. 

At least he wasn’t wearing the enemies uniform anymore. 

On the way out of the bathroom he took time to run a hand through his hair and put his hair back, it sounded disgusting but he had to use the sweat and grease to keep it out of his face. He’s due for another haircut. 

He went back to the living room and went to the table with both of their gear on it. He went to reach for his but paused before he did. 

Levi’s gear was right next to his and it was in perfect condition besides a couple scratches on the ODM gear. It was perfect to take back to his people so they could dig through it and figure out how to dismember it in battle, it could give them the upper hand. 

For a second he paused.

Is that something he really wanted to do? 

Did he really want to give them another reason to attack Paradis? To continue this war? 

Just like Levi said, he was tired of fighting this war. Eren didn’t care about the war, the only thing he wanted was to kill Levi and that was it. 

But now.. now that he got the upper hand on the man, he didn’t know what to do. 

He glanced down at Levi, passed out on the floor and vulnerable to him for the first time in four days. And a measly drug brought this man down. Not the dangerous bombs or guns, but a drug out of all things. 

It wasn’t even a fair fight, Levi didn’t have weapons on him and Eren already knew what the drug worked. 

While gripping at the table, he shook his head.  _ What am I doing? What am I thinking?  _

There was no way in hell he was feeling bad for Levi. No way in hell. 

But Levi’s last words before he passed out shocked him to his core more than the news about his family. 

_ “Gotta do something good.”  _

Some good. A good deed? Was he trying to get Eren home because he wanted to do something good for once? 

What kind of monster wanted to do something good? 

This all made no sense.

It made him doubt even using the serum on Levi in the first place. He looked at the needle he had set on the table and then over at Levi. 

With wobbly legs he walked over to him and knelt down next to him once again, debating on what he should do. 

Right now would be the best time to escape but why doesn’t he want to leave? Why was he thinking against leaving Levi here defenseless? 

Eren sighed and grabbed Levi’s shoulder, rolling his small and lean body over so the man was laying on his back. His head had moved to the side facing Eren, his eyes peacefully closed and black bangs falling into his face. 

But Eren wanted to see something else. He grabbed Levi’s head and moved it to get a look at his neck, pulling the collar down and frowning. 

There were easily a half a dozen needle marks there, he couldn’t imagine how much of this drug was pumping through this man's veins. All this and he was still able to get them out of the cellar and protect Eren when he was shot? 

It almost seemed impossible, and it seemed to be more effective when entered through the eyes to rid of their vision. Rid of their vision and they were vulnerable, why didn’t Eren think of that before?

Eren glanced at the needle. He felt Levi’s soft breath fan against his wrist and he looked at his sleeping face with a softened expression. 

“I can’t kill you,” he finally admitted to himself. “Not like this.. not when I’m your good deed..” 

He was Levi’s good deed. Pathetic, really. Levi wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to get Eren home because Eren was innocent in all of this. 

“You murdered my father because he murdered your friends, I would have done the same thing.” He fixed the collar of Levi’s shirt. “You’re only a monster because they made you be one. You had no choice.” 

Seeing him unconscious and breathing peacefully did something to Eren. It didn’t feel right. Levi should be awake and they should be at each other’s throats. 

But because of him, Levi was once again induced with the drug that could possibly kill him. 

All Levi wanted to do was get Eren home and Eren has a feeling it no longer has to do with getting a message to Zeke. 

Was Levi really trying to save him because he needs something good on his track record?

He ran a hand through his own hair stressfully. This.. what he’s doing, it isn’t right. Eren can’t stoop so low to do what his brother would do. 

He’s always tried to not be like his brother. Zeke was intelligent and would do anything to get his way and if that meant sacrificing his own people then so be it. 

But Eren has never been that way. He’s always been kind and gentle but always spoke his opinion. Sure, he’s gotten in his fair share of fights because of his attitude and gotten his ass kicked plenty of times, but he never wanted to harm anyone. 

For a long time his goal was to kill Levi, it was the only thing driving him forward. He was spoon fed with the idea of executing the Eldians for years. 

And if what Levi said was true, then he really was the villain. 

Eren never wanted to be a villain. He always thought what he was fighting for meant something. 

Did his reason for perseverance mean nothing at all? 

“This isn’t right,” he said to himself, “I can’t.. I can’t be like  _ them _ ..” 

_ I can’t be like my family.  _

_ My family are the true monsters in this story.  _

He gathered up his thoughts, no matter what he had to get home. With some trouble because of his shoulder he hooked one arm behind the back of Levi’s knees and the other behind his back. His knees wobbled a bit as he stood up, he didn’t look heavy but by god he was hard to lift up. 

Levi’s arms rested on his stomach and his chin tipped down to his chest, his head resting against Erens shoulder. He was completely limp, dead weight. 

Eren laid him down gently on the couch where he had been resting for the past two days and rolled the pain out of his shoulder. 

He just looked.. so fucking vulnerable. 

“You’re not a monster,” he repeated to himself as he grabbed Levi’s cloak. “You’re just fighting for your country, following orders,” he placed the cloak over Levi’s thighs and chest so when he woke up, if he did, he would wake up comfortable and not as cold. “On behalf of my people.. I'm so sorry.” 

Eren stood back up and went to the table where all the gear was stacked up. He picked out his own and strapped it on himself and when he finished he sent a somber look to Levi’s. 

Could he just take these home and leave Levi defenseless? This was the land of his people, someone would find him. Eventually. 

_ Am I really giving this man a chance to live?  _

_ And.. because I understand.. Am I really forgiving him for killing dad?  _

Caving in, he grabbed Levi’s gear and walked back to the couch. He set it down on the ground beside it, including the serum and stood back up. 

His people have a right to know about it and prepare to defend themselves. 

Eren grabbed the supply bag and zipped it up, swinging it over his shoulders and walked to the front door. He swung it open and looked behind him over his shoulder at Levi. 

“If I’m your good deed, then you’re mine too.” He said, a frown on his face. He looked down at the ground, “I’ll rewrite my family's wrongs somehow… goodbye, Levi.”

And he walked out, shutting the door behind him, making his way to the coast. 

When he made it back to his family…

He’s gonna give ‘em hell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know. what the hell, right? eren's conflicted about how he feels. does he care? does he hate him? he contradicts himself a lot as you may have noticed. i really do try and do a lot of erens pov but if you ever want some of levi's then let me know because our short king deserves some time to think. 
> 
> feedback is suuuper appreciated since this is the beginning of the fic and i want to know if you all like it or not, so thank you so much for reading and i hope you're enjoying the story so far :)
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter - cj

**Author's Note:**

> it's only the prologue, so bare with me. so levi killed grisha and poor eren had to watch. now our boy wants revenge. the reason for the war will be revealed in chapter one.
> 
> now i gotta ask, how was it? i know it's a small snippet but that's all i had for a prologue. ive never written an enemys to lovers story before but ive always wanted too. but instead of something small i was like.. what if i write a war fic? something dramatic and filled with angst? *chefs kiss* yes. 
> 
> but in case you lot like it, i do have the next couple chapters written out to see how it goes. my update schedule is usually once or twice a week. so yeah, any kudos, comments, and feedback are suuuuper appreciated. 
> 
> (writing such a short chapter bothered me, im used to my like twenty five page long chapters lmao.)
> 
> thanks for taking a chance on this story. if i continue it- it'll be a wild ride :)
> 
> stay tuned for the next chapter -cj


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